When I left the house this morning, it was in the 50's. By the time I got to work it was in the 40's. What the fuck?!?!?

The Bone Blog boys just posted a thing about Nugnuts. It's a video, which I can't view at work, but I really don't need to see it to know. In case you don't know, McDonald's started this new ad campaign aimed at Chicken McNugget lovers. Apparently, these people are called "Nugnuts" and nothing could make me angrier. Nugnuts? Jesus fucking Christ. I would annihilate someone if they ever called me something as idiotic as a "Nugnut." How is that even a good idea?!? How was it proposed and what higher-up at Mickey D's said, "Holy crap! That's it!!! You nailed it!!! Nugnut! It's so obvious!!" God damn it I hate advertising. (Sorry, Mary)


I typed "Nugnut" into Google Images and I got this!!! Haha!!

My roommate invited the infant over who he's been trying to hook up with for months now and isn't getting anywhere. I keep telling him she needs to hit puberty first. Haha! She's 21, but that's still waaay too young for an old codger like me. Especially when she acts like she's 21. Anyway, I was trying to sleep last night and I guess she had brought a friend over or something. The idiot dog was going apeshit (and, naturally, the roommate was doing very little to quell the barking). I got really annoyed because I think I heard whoever this girl was making fun of my box of Powerpuff Girl cereal. Is it normal for me to be mad about something like that? I mean, the Powerpuff Girls were the shit with all of us 10 years ago, not that this girl would remember because she was probably just getting out of her training pants. All my college roomates and I would do was sit around, smoke weed, and watch Cartoon Network, especially when Dexter's Lab, Powerpuff Girls, Transformers: Beast Wars, or Dragonball Z was on. Seriously, each of us had a Powerpuff Girl keychain that matched our personalities. I had Blossom. It's Gendy Tartokofsky for fuck sake!!! He's directing the new Dark Crystal sequel!!! He did Samurai Jack and the Clone Wars!!! There is nothing at all wrong with a grown man enjoying the Powerpuff Girls. Especially when I have a box of 10 year old cereal full of marshmallows and Pop Rocks. It's true. It has Pop Rocks in it. And the box is beautiful. It's all sparkly and shit. Let this idiot little girl laugh. I'll be laughing when I sell that shit on ebay for a ton of cash. These kids today know nothing of good script writing and animation styles. Or good cartoons.


God damn it!!!! I guess it was bound to happen. Sigh.

She may or may not have been laughing at my Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring collector glasses from Burger King, too. If I had heard that, I would have lost my shit. Fucking Nugnut.


The King of Cradle-Robbers

Speaking of The Dark Crystal, I just wrote this in an email to MaryTylerWhore and thought it pertinent to share with the rest of y'all (because I crack myself up):

Having 2 blogs is proving to be difficult. I was posting in the new blog when I realized halfway through that it’s a blog better suited for Dork Side. My split personalities are beginning to merge like the Mystics and the Skeksis at the end of The Dark Crystal. I’m becoming an Urskek. I just attempted to Google Skeksis to make sure I was spelling it right and it’s actually in Urban Dictionary. When the fuck do you ever hear that on the street? “Yo, Dogg! My girl came over last night and she wouldn’t stop fightin’ with me over the remote. I had to get all Skeksis on her ass and do a Trial By Stone! Bitch is lucky I didn’t call my Garthim!” What the hell?

Ha! Urban Crystal. Actually, I think that's the new street name for meth. Seriously, though, if you're bored at work or something, look up random Dark Crystal stuff on Wikipedia, like character names and whatnot. It is honestly the best thing ever.


Muuuuuch scarier in German.