Bring on the New Year

Oh, my god what a year.

We've seen some amazing things happen in 2008. A country become politically (and morally) divided even worse than it had in 2004, which I'm still a bit disgusted by.



A woman we haven't seen as such an unfit mother or human being since that chick who drowned her kids in her own car and blamed it on black people.



A cowboy.




A comedic disaster.



Some pretty good music.



Some amazing comic book movies (finally).



Some great comics, including the heart-breaking conclusion of Y: The Last Man.



And some great television (sorry, Heroes, better luck next year).



I know there are some shows that probably belong there, but there's just so much time in the day, ya know?

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that my team is ending the year at the top of the table in both the Premier League and Champions League!! Let's hope they keep it up through to May.



Even Stevie G is ending his year by being brought up on charges of starting a bar fight last week and somehow hospitalizing a DJ. The guy must have really sucked.
And I'm sorry to all of my female readers, but I'm going to be a total dude for just a moment and say that this is the absolute best Liverpool kit I've ever seen on anyone.



I hope 2008 was good to everyone, or, at least, better than '07. I know I had a pretty life-changing year with a new car, new job, new house, some new hobbies, a new blog, and a new outlook on life. Sure, there have been some hang-ups like reconciling a friendship with someone I love very much only to have it fall apart again, making an ass of myself on a couple of occasions, and not getting a teaching job, but what's life without a few snags, right? They just make you a stronger person in the end. Sometimes it's good luck we don't get what we want.

With a new prez, the economy imploding on itself, my new nephew on the way, Norman Osborne/The Green Goblin in charge of the entire Marvel Universe, the Ultimate Marvel Universe coming to an end, the Watchmen movie coming out this summer, the new Radio Dept full-length finally coming out, the new and second-to-the-last season of Lost coming on in a month, Liverpool possibly being the number one football team in all of Europe, and me with the possibility of moving out-of-state, just for starters, this upcoming year will be an interesting one, for sure.

Salut.

Movies of Future Past

Let's talk movies that haven't come out yet!

So, has anyone seen the screen shots from the upcoming Spike Jonez "Where the Wild Things Are" yet? Pure poetry.









How flippin cool does this movie look???? I mean, I'm sure we were all amazed by the Maurice Sendak classic as kids, but it just feels so good to be equally amazed with it as an adult when I look at these stills. It makes me want to put on an animal costume and run about like a little maniac.


But not like these weirdos. Never, ever like them.

Anyone see the "Wolverine: Origin" trailer? It looks like an interesting mash-up of the thousands of stories mulled up about who James "Logan" Howlett is and where his past took him. I still would have liked to see him with that crazy helmet on when he was first infused with Adamantium and went completley apeshit. In the trailer, he looks completely normal, just wet and mad. Ah whatever. I really want to give this movie a fair shot but there are certain things holding me back.

For one, I still have yet to let go of the clusterfucked blasphemy of the last X-Men film. I fully understand that the movies have the right to take their own path from the original source material for hundreds of different reasons, but what they did in that movie to the story and to the characters is fucking unforgivable. A 10-year old could have written a better and more faithful script and kept it within a 2-hour time frame. I could go on and on about "what I would have done," but I'll save that for another time. After that film and the ridiculous mess Rush Hour 3 was, Brett Ratner will forever remain on my shitlist.

For another, there seem to be way too many mutants and Wolverine characters. Silver Fox, Emma Frost, The Blob, Gambit, Deadpool, Stryker, Sabretooth, Cyclops (though, how he's in the film is beyond me since he was just a kid when the Weapon X Project was tooling around with the cannucklehead's bones), Storm, John Wraith, Zero, and Beak, to name a few. Wait, Beak?!?!? Fucking Beak?!?!?!?!?!??!? Okay, now they're really screwing with the timeline. And I'm kind of annoyed that I haven't seen Maverick nor Garrison Kane in the line-up.

Finally, I'm concerned about the casting of Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth. Sorry, but there is nothing at all about that man that says "feral, mutant, psychopathic killer." He looks like he'd rather order a rack of lamb with mint jelly as opposed to ripping out someone's guts with his teeth. Though, he's a pretty good actor, not to mention director, so we'll see how it pans out. I was wrong about Ledger, after all. Little known fact: his first name is pronounced "Lau," as in "bough." I never knew.


"A mauling?!? Oh, heavens no!! I said 'who wants to go to the mall?'"

I have to admit, though, that it is pretty cool that a lot of the cast are big comic book nerds. Ryan Reynolds has been working with David Goyer for a while to get Deadpool made (and a Goyer-penned Deadpool would be incredible), both Schreiber and Hugh Jackman are big Wolverine fans, and even the writer of the film is a comic book fan turned script-writer. The only thing that will screw this up is the director not knowing a whole lot about comics. However, what he's had to say about Wolverine has been pretty on-target and he seems to understand the gist of the character. I don't know. It's a comic book movie and even though the last few Hollywood has cranked out have been exceptionally amazing, there's still a huge margin for epic failure. I mean, Ryan Reynolds and Leiv Schreiber as psycopathic villains?? What's next? A fight between Wolverine and Ed Norton?


Whose D to I have to S to make this happen?

Which reminds me, has anyone been catching the Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk jokes that have been running rampant throughout the Ultimate books these last few months? They always catch me by surprise (because they're always so subtle) and they never fail to make me laugh. Rats Off to books without endings (*ahem* Steampunk!! *ahem*).


How's it gonna end? The world may never know.

The Nutty Arch-Nemesis? Dr. Do-Riddle?

Here's some news that I truly, truly, truly hope is not true. Truly.

Eddie Murphy as The Riddler, Shia LeWhatever as Robin, and possibly Rachel Weiss as Catwoman?!?!?

God, let's hope The Sun is being their usual full-of-shit selves on this one. I haven't checked IMDB yet, simply out of fear it might actually be true. Robin and Catwoman could very well be in the movie, though, since it is rumored the next film is to be titled "Gotham Knights," the clue being in the pluralization. God, I'm starting to even sound like Edward Nigma.

I have complete faith in Christopher Nolan, but that goes just so far. Though, I did scoff when I first heard about Heath Ledger/Joker and I'm proud to say I was incredibly wrong about that. Let's just hope Nolan keeps the nipples off the suits.


Riddle me this: Can it get much worse?

Update: Thank God for ScreenRant.com. And am I the only one who thinks it odd that the 3D remake of My Bloody Valentine is coming out one whole month before Make All the Single Unloved People Feel Like Shit Day?

Pushing Daisies is Pushig Daisies

It was just confirmed to me by Brian, after getting on him to watch Pushing Daisies tonight and prepping a blog to tell you all the same in order to save the show, that one of the best shows currently on television has been axed by ABC. So sad and so true. It has gone the way of programs like Arrested Development, highly inventive but little watched. This saddens me to no end. Love is dead.


Not without my monkey!!

Bryan Fuller, the show's creator and producer, has said that he's been planning on doing a series of comics based on the show to tie up some lose ends and may possibly do a movie. Whatever. We've heard that before. However, he is one of the originals who helmed the first season of Heroes, so there may be a little proof swirled into his pudding.


Meh.

Speaking of which, with Pushing Daisies having shot their final episode (I'm about to cry), there's a good chance that Fuller might be back on board with Heroes, a show that has been slumping storyline-wise in a major way. Thankfully, Tim Kring, that show's creator and head writer, put down the word processor for this past Monday's episode and let comic (sometimes) great Jeff Loeb knock out a pretty excellent story, ending Volume 3 of Heroes, Villains, and opening it up for February's Volume 4, Fugitives. It's tough to tell based on one episode, but the shit seems to be getting good again. I hope.


Welcome back, Micah, you creepy little bastard.

Here's to you Pushing Daisies. I loved you when you were here and I'll miss you when you're gone. Man, this is turning out to be a really crappy week.

Pep Talk

Descendents did this little gem found on their 1983 (I think) release "I Don't Wanna Grow Up." Bill Stevenson wrote it for Milo Aukerman while Milo was going through a rough break up. It's a brilliant song. Of course, they were only in their early-20's at the time. This song becomes less and less believable the older you get and the more heartbreaks you have to endure. Just sayin'.

"It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You don't need her anyway

You're looking around for someone to love
So you don't have to face the world alone
But give it some time and you might find
That you're better off on you own
Cause you could be dead right now
You could be the stupidest thing in the world
But you're not, look at what you've got
And stop thinking about that girl

You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it
don't settle for less, you know you're gonna regret it

It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You don't need her anyway

Watching the tube, moping around
Might as well be six feet underground
You're watching the game go by
Waiting for the final score
You got the beer commercials memorized
So you've probably heard this before
But this ain't the TV talking to you
It's a friend who's gonna tell you what you can do

You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it
don't settle for less, be all the best and don't you forget it

I know what you're thinking ... you'll never find another
And even if you did, well, you couldn't love her
But out there somewhere is the person, place or thing
That you need to make you believe in you

It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You can find something better anyway

Just take your time. and you will find
What your life requires
Just take your time. and you will find
What your heart desires
Just take your time. and you will find
You will find"

Broken Hearts

Having a broken heart is seriously unfun and is an awesome way to ruin your week. Let the weight loss begin!!

I Don't Know Billy Ocean and I Don't Know the Ocean Floor

I'm asking myself, why on Earth would I write about Billy Ocean? My answer to this is why the hell not? If the Promise Ring could sing about him, I should have the same privileges.



So, there was this radio station in Tampa when I used to live there called JOE (Jammin' Hits of the 70's and 80's). I guess no one told them that when creating an acronym, you really can't pick and choose random letters. I wish I could remember what the station number was. I'm sure it's still operational. I think they later became strictly 80's. Anyway, it was a pretty magical station because every time I turned it on, and I mean every time, Caribbean Queen was playing. I shit you not. At one point, I was here in Orlando visiting my best mate Brian and I told him about the station and what consistently occurs. He found it amusing but I don't think he really believed me. We were driving down the road later on that weekend and he bore witness to me turning to the station and low and behold, there was Billy Ocean denying his love the ability to run. And that is the power of Ocean.

Now I didn't know this, and I'm rather ashamed, but Billy isn't from America. This is kind of a relief, because since I haven't heard from him in years, I just assumed he was dead. Not true!!!! He is actually British. Can you believe that? Well, technically he's from Trinidad, but he's been living in Albion since childhood, so that's good enough for me.


You know who else isn't British? Bono. Here he is doing his best Angelina impression.

I have another shocker for you.


No, Jenna, not that kind of shocker, you bad girl, you.


Still the wrong shocker.

The shocker I'm referring to is in regards to Mr. Ocean's name, which it is not! His real name is Leslie Sebastian Charles. As a matter of fact, his very first release in Britain was under the name Les Charles way back in '72. It wasn't until 1975 that he adopted the name based on where he was living (Ocean Place) and I was born. Again, the power of Ocean. Just the mere creation of the name put my mom into labor. Get out of my uterus and into my car.

There really isn't much else to speak of about Billy Ocean aside from his song "When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going" made famous by the film "Romancing the Stone." You remember that movie, right? The one with Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito where the Jewel turns out to be some old Indian dude? Fucking lame. Do not, however, get Billy confused with fellow Brit (technically from Guyana, truth be told) Eddy Grant (real name) who did the title track for the movie's predecessor, "Romancing the Stone," which is, in my opinion a much better film. Mostly because it paved the way for Zemeckis to do "Back to the Future," and I'd hate to think where we would be as a society without that movie. It alao introduced most of us to the sultry voice of pre-Jessica Rabbit Kathleen Turner.


Jewel of Denial

Speaking of which, has anyone ever questioned what Jessica Rabbit's maiden name was? I mean, it couldn't have been Rabbit. That would be weird. Come to think of it, try explaining Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, and Daisy Duck. You know they're not married, so explain those last names. Fucking gross, Disney. Fucking gross.

Since I mentioned Caribbean Queen, here's a strange little tidbit of information. The song has different titles in different countries. African Queen, European Queen, Czechoslovakian Queen, The Republic of Ireland Queen, United Soviet Socialist Republic Queen. As I'm sure you can imagine, the song's rhythm had to be slightly modified in certain areas.

So, now here we are. 2008. And my man Billy Ocean is happily living in England with his wife and kids and still touring!!! Can you believe it? He's still pumping out his soul-infused pop, though it looks more like he's running with Eddy Grant's reggae band these days.


Shabba!

So, here's to you Billy Ocean! The man who told women everywhere to "get in the backseat, baby!" A line which never, ever worked for me.