The Last One

I just got off my phone with my dad who gave me a bit of bad news: Marvin "Popcorn" Sutton was found dead by his wife Tuesday morning from a suicide.

Popcorn Sutton was the last of a dying, and now dead, I guess, breed. He was a legend throughout the Smoky Mountains and surrounding areas, mainly in North Carolina and Tennessee, for making moonshine. Now, this isn't "making moonshine" like I used to make beer. Popcorn was the real deal. He was born near Maggie Valley, NC, grew up in the mountains, was good friends with Willie Nelson, a great banjo player, having released an album, and had distilleries set up throughout the Smokies. He was a man who lived by his own rules and kept alive a tradition hundreds of years old. When you think of traditional moonshiners, you're thinking of Popcorn. Yes, they still exist. Unfortunately, the government is well aware of this and they busted Popcorn a year ago, seizing the tools of his trade, along with 800 gallons of moonshine. This was problematic on a personal level because Popcorn is who my parents got their shine from and I gotta tell ya, the stuff was good. He pleaded not guilty in court and was told that he could face up to 15 years in prison and pay half a million in fines, simply for selling untaxed whiskey. (From what I understand, the government doesn't like it when they don't get their cut.) This is not good news for a man diagnosed with cancer. Popcorn's lawyers and family fought to have him put on house arrest, but the judge wouldn't hear it. I don't know what the sentencing was, but the Friday before last Popcorn was given his summons to prison. Refusing to spend one day in prison, he took his own life on Tuesday, dying in his Ford Fairlane from carbon monoxide poisoning.

If you want more info on him, you can read the few books written about him, one of which, "Daddy Moonshine," was written by his long lost daughter, a New England historian, and, in a sad coincidence, released, I believe, on the day of his death. You can also watch the documentary about him, "The Last One." The title is based on Popcorn supposedly making his last "likker" run, but I think it also comes from him truly being the last real moonshiner in the Smokies, if not the country.

Who Watched the Watchmen?

Well, it’s flippin’ official. My job blocked my Blogspot access. Those bastards. And I’m almost absolutely certain it’s because of me. The employees at my job aren’t exactly the “writing” type. It happens when just anyone can walk in off the street and get employment here. I mean, after the drug test and all. So, now I really am forced to write on Word and email it to my Hotmail account so I can copy and paste it to my blogger when I get home. Fucking ridiculous? You betcha.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Work has been keeping me ridiculously busy, like overtime busy, and they’ve been canning people who’ve been using the internet (Big Brother’s watching!), causing me to lay low for a bit. It doesn’t help that my home computer has contracted a virus I can’t get rid of, disallowing me from accessing the internet, or much else for that matter. God damn, when it rains it pours. Quite a bit has happened in the last month or so since my last post. I think I’ll write about the one thing every geek in the world has been gushing over for the past year.

So, let’s talk “Watchmen.”

Who’s seen it? Who hated it? Well, to hell with you. I’ve seen it twice, if I may be so bold to brag. The people who are hating on the film are hating it for the most ridiculous and varied reasons. Maybe you fit into one of these categories.

First you have the fanboys. Those unlovable little nerds who won’t be happy with any translation laid down on celluloid (or in this case digital memory banks). The most common complaint I’ve run into so far from these Simpsons Comic Book Guy blueprints? They changed the ending. Well, let me explain something to those of you out there who have yet to read the graphic novel. The original ending of Watchmen involved a staged alien invasion, a gigantic squid, and genetic manipulation. Really, the movie version wasn’t all that far from those plot points, but I won’t get too in depth in case anyone reading this has yet to see the film (and you should). What was important was the movie having the same outcome as the book, which it did. To berate the film because you’re upset that you didn’t get to see a giant squid is ridiculous. And while the movie’s change doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if you take the time to really, really ponder it, it worked extremely well for an average movie-going audience and I, for one, liked it. The dialogue was nearly word for word, and the shots were taken straight from the panels of the book. The acting here and there left a little to be desired, but the film made up for it visually. It cost them $100-million to make and they definitely got their moolah’s worth. And this is coming from a die-hard fan. If I want giant squids and alien invasions, I’ll watch “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” and “Independence Day.” Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, “ID4,” as though that ever made any sense.

Next, we have the Average Movie-Goer. Those poor slobs who deny themselves the good things in life (like being obsessed with movies, video games, and comic books). As my friends and I sat in the Imax theater opening night , full of Ale House food, munching on candy and patiently awaiting the opening title of “Watchmen,” Brian looked over at me and said, “I wonder how many of these people are going to be disappointed in this film.” To which I replied, “I could give a shit, so long as I’m not disappointed.” A lot of people walked in expecting to see a super hero movie full of action. What they got was something entirely different and that pissed a lot of folks off. You really can’t blame them. It bugged the hell out of me that the studio was marketing the film they way they were: as an epic action picture. In reality, it’s an epic murder-mystery-drama, deconstructing the super hero mythos and reassembling it in a more realistic fashion. Think about it: here are a bunch of people who dress up in costumes and run around fighting other people who dress up in costumes. What kind of people would actually do this? Narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, nerds, sexual deviants, megalomaniacs. It’s not exactly a Spider-Man film. To those of you who wanted Daredevil or Punisher, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you spent half the movie bored because it was too much story. I’m sorry that only one character had actual superpowers (unlike Iron Man and Batman, so that argument is total bullshit). I’m sorry that there was a rad sex scene in it. I’m sorry that it was unlike any other super hero movie you’ve ever seen and you’re just too dense to accept it for what it is. I’ve always said there are 2 types of people in this world: those who read Vonnegut and those who don’t. Now I can easily sum humanity up with this film: Those who get “Watchmen” and those who don’t.

For all of these people who didn’t like “Watchmen,” at least they got the new “Harry Potter” and “Star Trek” trailers out of it. So awesome.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I saw the new teaser poster for the movie. “HP6.” HP6?!?!?!? What the fuck is that?!? It’s called “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!” Or even “Harry Potter 6.” Whatever! Why, why, why do these Hollywood marketers and advertisers insist on retarding everything? The same thing pissed me off for the last 2 X-Men films. “X2” and “X3.” Just say X-Men 2. Is it really all that hard saying one whole extra syllable?? You’re not going to lose that much time out of your day, trust me. All of these idiotic abbreviations aren’t doing the movies any favors. They’re just making these films sound like various stages of venereal diseases, not to mention the fact they’re dumbing people down and making them linguistically lazy.

As far as trailers go, if you haven’t seen the new trailer for “Where the Wild Things Are,” I beseech you to look it up and watch it. It looks absolutely amazing. The Arcade Fire soundtrack just adds to my joy. Hopefully, the movie will get Spike Jonze in the mood again to do “Harold and the Purple Crayon.” Oh, excuse me. I meant to say “HATPC1.”

Sorry if I seem a little more venomous than usual. I had a shitty weekend. Read my other blog to find out a little about it. Plus,. I'm sorry there are no pics on this post. Damn site is acting up.

HB, DS!

Looks like today is Dr. Suesss's birthday! It was 105 years ago today that Mama Geisel gave birth to little Theodore, the doctor of nothing who would introduce children to the wonders of seeing severly crazy shit without the use of halucinagenic narcotics. And who would be the inspiration for me trying to put hats on cats as a child (much to their displeasure), hop on my pop (much to his displeasure), as well as the force behind a Universal ride that causes me to vomit every time I make a go of it (much to the displeasure of those around me).

Here's to you, Dr. Theodore Seuss Geisel!! Thanks for the imagination and the lessons.


Oh yeah, and thanks for these jagoffs:


Aaaaaand the nightmares:

Absence

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been super busy at work. Rest assured, though, when I get the chance, I've got tons to write about. In the meantime, catch up with my other blog. Dork free with the same laughs and a little extra insight. Oh, and a lot more bitching. And toilets.

My roommate just told me that the Yeah Yeah Yeah's are the Pixies of "our" generation. I had to stifle my urge to smack him and instead responded that the Pixies are actually the Pixies of my generation. I always knew the guy was a little musically inept, but jesus christ, really?!?!?!? The only good thing to come out of the Yeah Yeah Yeah's was Head Wound City and the countless nights I spent alone in my room, drunk on whiskey and crying to "Maps."


Speaking of whiskey drunk, I kinda woke up like this last week with a few little embarrassing details left out. Amazingly, I wasn't hungover. I think I was so drunk the night before I transcended mere regular drunkness.

Happy Friday the 13th

Warning:



PLUS



EQUALS




It's not easy to give me nightmares, but what the hell, EA? What. The. Hell?

Mid-Season Trades

Even though it's only 2 episodes into its "3rd Volume," fuck to Heroes. This past Mondays episode was a complete waste of my time. The only redeeming quality was Sylar's story and his new protege, that one kid from that one thing I saw not too long ago. That and my millionth time seeing the Watchmen trailer. Aside from that, I got to watch the same fucking scene play out over and over and over again for an hour. I wanted death.

So, I'm pretty much over that show. It's like every relationship I've ever had: it started out cool as shit but ended up becoming a ridiculous mess that no one wanted to be a aprt of any longer. What a letdown. My new night to look forward to is Tuesdays for Fringe, basically making my most beloved TV viewing nights those which are dominated by JJ Abrams shows. And to think I nearly gave up on that show a few months ago because it wasn't holding my attention. That mothefucker went from 0 to 100 in from out of nowhere. I can't even believe I'm watching the same show now. It's getting in-fucking-sane. It started as an X-Files rip-off to this show about powers and multiverses and wars between dimensions and all sorts of trippy shit. Considering who created the show and where LOST has gone, how am I even surprised? My only gripe is that it is taking yet another hiatus and will be back on in April. What the fuck, Fox?

As an added bonus to Fringe, I saw a badass preview of Watchmen that literally brought tears to my eyes. March 6th can't get here fast enough. And speaking of movies, I don't know how much time you have left, but go see My Bloody Valentine 3D while you still can. In Orlando, it's at Universal (midnight showings only) and on the digital screen at Disney (for $12, but hot damn what a way to drop that kind of cash). Don't forget kids, Jason Vorhees makes his "re-imagined" appearance this Friday!!!!

Great Job!

I'm free to blog at work again!!! The managers I was training have left and now I can dick around as usual. It's even easier now because our systems are down at work, giving me absolutely nothing to do.


Get your poke on

SO, I finally got to see the Tim and Eric Awesome Tour this past Friday night. It truly was awesome. And courtesy of my pal Brian and his awesome Christmas present to me, I got to sit in VIP, which, I found out, doesn't really have any benefits other than getting someone to bring your drinks to you. Our server was pretty, though. A little too skinny, but pretty. We also got the opportunity to meet Tim's parents. Kinda neat.

On the flipside, I had to miss O'Death on Thursday because of A) a lack of money and B) not knowing if I'm going to have a job in a couple of weeks or not, which directly relates to the severity of A. I was supposed to hang with the Hex Tremors for all of their dates with O'Death in FL and do roadie-type things, too. Damn it all. I just read on Octohawk's blog that she was able to go and now that I know she, too, is a fan of the band, I'm happy she was able to attend. Still, it would have been nice to have finally met her in person. I'm finding the girl's got impeccable taste in music.


Get your broke on

You know who else has impeccable taste in music? Me. I've been on a weird DEVO/Wall of Voodoo/Modern English kick of late. Sometimes you gotta take a few steps back to move ahead. In fact, I think I may have just stumbled upon my topic for this post.

Let's talk One-Hit-Wonders.

Good lord, how I loathe that term. It is strictly based on record sales and has nothing to do with the actual talent of the bands unlucky enough to fall under this category. What's worse is that every time you attend an 80's Night, that's all you hear. Forget the fact that a lot of these groups have incrdible, extensive catalogues. Nope. We're just going to focus on the one song that has been shoved down everyone's throat for the last 20-odd years. As you can see, I'm pretty annoyed by it.


The image matches the sound

Let's take a look at Wall of Voodoo. What song do we know from them? "Mexican Radio." A truly awesome song, no doubt, but for fuck sake! The guys have 2 full length albums and an EP! (That's not really true, but those are the albums that Stan Ridgway is on. Anything released after he left really isn't WOV to me. Though "Happy Planet" is pretty good.) They are so much more than just one song!! They gave politically and socially fueled, creepy, spaghetti western new wave a place in music history and have influenced a lot more bands than people realize. They're honestly right up there with DEVO. In fact, they used to perform with them a lot in the early 80's.


In this case, pay no attention to what they look like

How about Modern English? Good God, I am so sick of "Melt With You." I really am. That song is so out of place with their overall sound, you'd be surprised it's the same band. The hit single came from their second album called "After the Snow." I read something recently that stated this album was their more poppy, radio freindly album after their first release, "Mesh and Lace." I don't recall who wrote that, but they're idiots. There's nothing poppy or radio friendly about that record, with the exception of the single. It's a beautiful, lonely sounding album, with "Melt With You" being a scar on it's visage. It's more likely to be played at I Bar's goth night as opposed to Thursdays or Fridays. Do yourself a favor and find "After the Snow." It's out of print, but you can always download it. Trust me on this one.


After the Snow

This is all I've got for now. I tried to make this post somewhat funny, but I'm pretty passionate about the mistreatment of good 80's bands. Maybe I'll write about some of the goofy movies I watched this weekend. In the meantime, I'm going to get back to work. I get antsy when I've messed around on the internets too much.