Dork Side of the Room

Hello, Goodbye, Hello

2010-02-11T17:25:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone (all 8 of you). I've been my usual busy self for the last few months. Working 50 plus hour weeks, starting a pop punk band, working out (P90X does wonders, let me tell you), getting an amazing girlfriend (and living my fantasy of dating a super hot nurse) and then losing her to the wiles of Las Vegas and the general West, moving closer to downtown, attempting to sell most of my belongings in an attempt to streamline my life, and so on and so on and so on. I don't get much time anymore to do the things I truly love. I still read my comics and watch movies and play video games when I can (Lego Batman is the best time-waster ever, btw), but not to the extent I used to, which is what this blog was all about. I still enjoy writing, but I think I'm going to do it in another venue. One where Life is my subject matter as opposed to Pop Culture. There are already way too many blogs about that but none about me. So, I think I may abandon this blog to start anew. My life has been all about starting fresh lately and this is simply following suite. Or is it suit? Ah, whatever. When I decide on a clever name (maybe I'll call it "Shawn's Rad Blog"), I'll tell you where to go, if you're even interested. If I even do it.

In the meantime, look me up on Facebook. (I'm listed under "Shawn McNulty.") There are amazing pics and vids of me performing with my good friends Mumpsy at the Smashing Pumpkins tribute show that were just posted and another incredible video of me dressed as a drunk bee for an old Swirling Bees video. I get punched, drop kicked, and violated by a birthday cake. Oh yeah, and I puke. But not for real. Word.

In the meantime, please, please, please watch this movie when you get a chance. It comes out on DVD and Blu Ray this Tuesday and I think it's playing again at the Enzian at midnight this Friday and Saturday.

Well, I'll Be Damned

2009-11-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Look who's back. Actually it's more like look who's able to log onto his blog account at work again. I shouldn't even be doing this considering the fact I'm still swamped with massive amounts of work, but it's Friday, it's a quarter to 6, I'm supposed to be here for another hour, and the office is empty save for the custodial staff, none of whom can speak a lick of ingles. What the hell else am I going to do? Be productive?!? Eff that noise. I've been begging to get canned lately. I'm so utterly sick to death of this place, economy be damned.

Thanks to Boner Party, I just caught my first look at what Joanna Newsom looks like. I've never really been that into her. She just reminds me to much of Jodie Foster's Nell character when I hear her sing. I've always felt I'd like her more if I walked around in bare feet, wore flowers in my hair, fiddled with harmonicas, and had a vagina. But, Great Ceasar's Ghost, is she adorable! And surprisingly hot for a really skinny girl. Awesome hair, too. I have a thing for good hair. If I were her beau, I'd totally sit around and listen to her music. Of course, I'd have to tuck my Linus and Charlie Browns between my legs giving myself a mangina and smoke a lot of weed (perfectly explaining Andy Samberg). Sucks she lives in Wiiliamsburg (which, in my opinion, is something like the Jersey of Brooklyn).

Sometimes, when I have the ole Ipod on shuffle, something comes on that just makes me feel fucking awesome. Pearl Jam just popped on. Crazy Mary. It was about a minute into the song when I realized, "Holy shit. This is Pearl Jam. Man." Suddenly, I felt 10 different shades of rad, mildly missing 1993 and how cool I thought I was back then. I just sat here loving on some Vedder and getting all into drinking the bottle, drinking it down, and passing it around with Victoria Williams. Then some new Cave Singers came on for the PJ afterparty and totally chilled me the fuck out and brought me back to 2009. I used to have a Pearl Jam "Jeremy" shirt. Man, I fucking loved that shirt.

Go to the Enzian and watch "A Serious Man." It was amazing. Don't worry, Roger Deakins is back as the Coens' DP. And if you don't like this film, there is little hope for you.

Oh, and one more thing. Stephen King's Under the Dome = hooolyyyyyyyy shit! It is that good. It has some of the best character developement I've read in a long, long time. Of course, 1,074 pages and 30 years of development kind of allows you to expand and elaborate a bit.

Back From the Void Part 2: The Explanation

2009-07-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, I had this whole other thing written out about The Legends' new album "Over and Over" (hence the pic of the album) and how good it is, as well as mentions of the new ones from YACHT, The Dirty Projectors, God Help the Girl, and Fun, but stupid blogspot is only posting what I wrote on Outlook and not what I actually wrote on here. I have no idea how to fix it. When I edit it, what I wrote is still there, it's just not showing up in the final, published version. I call horseshit. You'll just have to guess what was written. Look at it this way, a little mystery will keep our relationship interesting and fresh.

Regardless, I hope everyone had as happy, as safe, and as fun of a 4th as I did!!

Back From the Void

2009-07-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

Note: If this entry looks weird, it's because I began writing it at work on Outlook, emailed it to myself, and then copy and pasted the email to here in order to finish it up. Lord only knows how jacked it's going to appear.

Wow, have I been lazy about posting or what? It’s been 2 months and my last post was merely a heads up to everyone about a show. A ton has happened in the last few months: getting myself in shape, getting my heart broken for the umpteenth time (you damnable females), the Magic nearly going all the way, Liverpool coming #2 in the Premier, the US somehow beating Spain and going up against Brazil in our first ever shot at getting a FIFA cup (still trying to wrap my head around that one), my baby nephew not being in the best of health but still fighting the good fight (he is Irish and a McNulty, after all), trying to catch up with my comic books, getting sucked into Crackdown, Oblivion, and Ghostbusters on 360, Roommate and I up to scandalous deeds, getting ready to go to St Pete to do some recording, working 50-60 hour work weeks, drinking and partying way more than I should (going in to work still drunk is so not fun, yet that seems to be my regular thing now every Monday and Friday), etc, etc, etc. It’s been a friggin crazy time. So, yeah, I’ve been a little pre-occupied. Still, I've been reading about Octohawk's adventures in Colorado in her Pejorative Jinx blogand Pacing the Panic Room's blog about his adorable, increasing family and in comparison, my life seems pretty god damned dull and pointless, despite the insanity. BUT, that is another blog for another time.

Let’s talk music!

I love rediscovering music. I’ve been listening to a lot of the MC5 lately, whom I haven’t listened to in ages. Not since I went through my Wayne Kramer/listening-to-old-punk-rockers-somehow-gives-me-validity phase as a kid. God damn that was a good band. They really need to have a reunion. Are they all even still alive?

There has been some seriously good stuff that’s come out lately. First off, we’ve got Grizzly Bear’s Veckatimest. So far, I’m pretty certain this is my favorite album of the year. It’s absolutely stunning and you can definitely hear the band growing into themselves. They’ve always been pretty unique, so it’s kind of stupid to say they’re “finding their own sound,” but something is definitely going on there. I could make a metaphor about flowers blossoming, but that’s gay. I’ve heard people say this album is poppier. I don’t know if I’d use “poppy” to ever describe Grizzly Bear, but it definitely isn’t quite as gloomy as Yellow House or Horn of Plenty. If you haven’t had a chance yet, I implore you to watch Patrick Daughters’ video for “Two Weeks.” In fact, give it a couple of watches. I swear I spent an entire day watching this video over and over when it was first released. My life is sad and empty. Standout songs: Two Weeks, Ready, Able, About Face, While You Wait For the Others, and Foreground.

Next up we got Au Revoir Simone’s “Still Night, Still Light.” Man, I adore these girls. This album really isn’t much different from their last 2. Their music is still keyboard laden beauty fronted by gorgeous vocal harmonies, just a little more layered now. Basically, if you like their other stuff, you’ll friggin love this record. I regret having missed them at Anti-Pop. The weird thing is they actually play this CD at Barnes & Noble. Strange. Great for the band, but strange. Standout songs: Shadows, Knight of Wands, Only You Can Make You Happy, and Anywhere You Looked.

Speaking of shows, Black Moth Super Rainbow is coming to town at the end of the month. So, if you live in the Town of O, you should definitely check them out at Backbooth. You should also check out their new one, “Eating Us.” Like Au Revoir Simone, there’s not much different in this release from past albums. It’s just really, really good. I can’t say enough good things about this group. Standout Songs: pretty much all of them.

Here’s an album that changes things up: Phoenix’s “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix.” Seriously, that’s one of the worst names for a record ever. Thank Baby Jesus the album isn’t nearly as bad as it’s title. The airwaves have been thick with their single “1901.” I don’t really mind this since it’s a great song and damn near impossible to not dance to. Phoenix has always been good about that. It’s funny I had to be coaxed into listening to this release. I saw them perform “1901” live on some late night show and thought it was fucking awful. Let me just say it translates much better on CD. One of the things I like about Phoenix is the fact that this album sounds very different from the first. The style of their music and the vocals have changed quite a bit and they seem to try to keep that going from record to record. I like bands who aren’t afraid to try different things and keep their sound fresh.Standout songs: Lisztomania, 1901, Fences, and Armistice.

One more album I'd like to mention is the new one from The Legends, "Over and Over." Sweden's big indie label, "Labrador Records, has put out a lot of good ones lately from Suburban Kids With Biblical Names, The Mary Onettes, and The Radio Dept (FINALLY), but the problem there is that they are all sigles and EP's, never reaching past the 4-song mark. "Thankfully, "Over and Over" is a full 12 songs. To make matters even better, Johan has left the keyboard-laden pop behind of the last couple of albums (which I actually do like a lot) and has returned to the fuzzy shoegaze-ish twee foud on the first record, "Up Against The Legends." Standout songs: Monday to Saturday, Dancefloor, Something Strange Will Happen, and Touch.

There have been some other good things that have been released recently from the likes of Yacht, The Dirty Projectors, the new Belle & Sebastian side project God Help the Girl, and one of the guy's from The Format's new band, Fun. However, I have already written enough and I am ready to do other life-fulfilling things. I ust have to figure out what they are.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

2009-04-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

If you live in Orlando, then you should make it a point to go to Will's Pub on Saturday night. My old band, Watch Me Disappear, is playing (sans me, obviously), some band named Kahn or something, and the reunion of what I still think is the greatest band that this town has ever had and probably will ever have, The Punching Contest. I'm pretty sure the show is a mere old skool $5. Trust me, this is something you do not want to miss. I'm sure the boys will be in rare form.

All Caught Up

2009-04-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

So, since my computer had contracted some kind of deadly disease, disallowing me from accessing the internet much less anything else, before my roommate was actually able to let my computer travel back in time to a point where it was much happier and disease free (I'd be so lucky), I have fallen far, far behind on my regular geeky activities. I have actually been forced to go out, be social, go to the beach, meet with friends for dinner, and other various activities I've been denied because of my computer's inability to serve my regular daily needs of comic books, movies, ordering pizza and chicken wings online, and sitting in dark rooms with the blinds closed. Alas, the comp is more or less fixed, sort of, and I just finished catching up with a month and a half's worth of comics and I've downloaded a bunch of new albums and movies (Shhhhhh!!! You heard what happened to the Piratebay guys, right?). Don't worry. No Wolverine for me. I'd rather see it in the theaters without the reality of suspension wires. So having said that, I've decided not to write about any of it. Not that I don't think any of what I experienced in my catchign up was good. It's just too much!!! I am planning on going to FX this weekend (Leonard Nimoy, Spike, and Drucilla!!!!!) and I'll try to get my regular posts going now that I'm current on everything. Man, what a pain in the ass. Plus, that whole "No more blogspot at work" thing is a real Debbie Downer.

Meh. C'est la vie.

This came up when I Google imaged "C'est la vie." I love it.

Oh, and did anyone else know that The Mighty Boosh was on Adult Swim? I sure as hell didn't, so you can imagine my surprise when I caught an episode of it at a friend's house. Not only that, but Gary Newman was on!!!! Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!

Too fucking awesome.

New Liverpool Away Kits

2009-04-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

They made the decision on the new kits in January, but I'm just seeing them now since I gave up on International Football for a month or 2 because the January drama got to be too much for me (and believe me, God has been punishing me for it). So, I present to you the 2009-2010 Liverpool away kits.

Boner.

I hate to admit this, but it reminds me of the black Spider-Man costume/Venom symbiote. I love it.

The Last One

2009-04-05T17:37:00.000-07:00

I just got off my phone with my dad who gave me a bit of bad news: Marvin "Popcorn" Sutton was found dead by his wife Tuesday morning from a suicide.

Popcorn Sutton was the last of a dying, and now dead, I guess, breed. He was a legend throughout the Smoky Mountains and surrounding areas, mainly in North Carolina and Tennessee, for making moonshine. Now, this isn't "making moonshine" like I used to make beer. Popcorn was the real deal. He was born near Maggie Valley, NC, grew up in the mountains, was good friends with Willie Nelson, a great banjo player, having released an album, and had distilleries set up throughout the Smokies. He was a man who lived by his own rules and kept alive a tradition hundreds of years old. When you think of traditional moonshiners, you're thinking of Popcorn. Yes, they still exist. Unfortunately, the government is well aware of this and they busted Popcorn a year ago, seizing the tools of his trade, along with 800 gallons of moonshine. This was problematic on a personal level because Popcorn is who my parents got their shine from and I gotta tell ya, the stuff was good. He pleaded not guilty in court and was told that he could face up to 15 years in prison and pay half a million in fines, simply for selling untaxed whiskey. (From what I understand, the government doesn't like it when they don't get their cut.) This is not good news for a man diagnosed with cancer. Popcorn's lawyers and family fought to have him put on house arrest, but the judge wouldn't hear it. I don't know what the sentencing was, but the Friday before last Popcorn was given his summons to prison. Refusing to spend one day in prison, he took his own life on Tuesday, dying in his Ford Fairlane from carbon monoxide poisoning.

If you want more info on him, you can read the few books written about him, one of which, "Daddy Moonshine," was written by his long lost daughter, a New England historian, and, in a sad coincidence, released, I believe, on the day of his death. You can also watch the documentary about him, "The Last One." The title is based on Popcorn supposedly making his last "likker" run, but I think it also comes from him truly being the last real moonshiner in the Smokies, if not the country.

Who Watched the Watchmen?

2009-03-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s flippin’ official. My job blocked my Blogspot access. Those bastards. And I’m almost absolutely certain it’s because of me. The employees at my job aren’t exactly the “writing” type. It happens when just anyone can walk in off the street and get employment here. I mean, after the drug test and all. So, now I really am forced to write on Word and email it to my Hotmail account so I can copy and paste it to my blogger when I get home. Fucking ridiculous? You betcha.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Work has been keeping me ridiculously busy, like overtime busy, and they’ve been canning people who’ve been using the internet (Big Brother’s watching!), causing me to lay low for a bit. It doesn’t help that my home computer has contracted a virus I can’t get rid of, disallowing me from accessing the internet, or much else for that matter. God damn, when it rains it pours. Quite a bit has happened in the last month or so since my last post. I think I’ll write about the one thing every geek in the world has been gushing over for the past year.

So, let’s talk “Watchmen.”

Who’s seen it? Who hated it? Well, to hell with you. I’ve seen it twice, if I may be so bold to brag. The people who are hating on the film are hating it for the most ridiculous and varied reasons. Maybe you fit into one of these categories.

First you have the fanboys. Those unlovable little nerds who won’t be happy with any translation laid down on celluloid (or in this case digital memory banks). The most common complaint I’ve run into so far from these Simpsons Comic Book Guy blueprints? They changed the ending. Well, let me explain something to those of you out there who have yet to read the graphic novel. The original ending of Watchmen involved a staged alien invasion, a gigantic squid, and genetic manipulation. Really, the movie version wasn’t all that far from those plot points, but I won’t get too in depth in case anyone reading this has yet to see the film (and you should). What was important was the movie having the same outcome as the book, which it did. To berate the film because you’re upset that you didn’t get to see a giant squid is ridiculous. And while the movie’s change doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if you take the time to really, really ponder it, it worked extremely well for an average movie-going audience and I, for one, liked it. The dialogue was nearly word for word, and the shots were taken straight from the panels of the book. The acting here and there left a little to be desired, but the film made up for it visually. It cost them $100-million to make and they definitely got their moolah’s worth. And this is coming from a die-hard fan. If I want giant squids and alien invasions, I’ll watch “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” and “Independence Day.” Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, “ID4,” as though that ever made any sense.

Next, we have the Average Movie-Goer. Those poor slobs who deny themselves the good things in life (like being obsessed with movies, video games, and comic books). As my friends and I sat in the Imax theater opening night , full of Ale House food, munching on candy and patiently awaiting the opening title of “Watchmen,” Brian looked over at me and said, “I wonder how many of these people are going to be disappointed in this film.” To which I replied, “I could give a shit, so long as I’m not disappointed.” A lot of people walked in expecting to see a super hero movie full of action. What they got was something entirely different and that pissed a lot of folks off. You really can’t blame them. It bugged the hell out of me that the studio was marketing the film they way they were: as an epic action picture. In reality, it’s an epic murder-mystery-drama, deconstructing the super hero mythos and reassembling it in a more realistic fashion. Think about it: here are a bunch of people who dress up in costumes and run around fighting other people who dress up in costumes. What kind of people would actually do this? Narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, nerds, sexual deviants, megalomaniacs. It’s not exactly a Spider-Man film. To those of you who wanted Daredevil or Punisher, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you spent half the movie bored because it was too much story. I’m sorry that only one character had actual superpowers (unlike Iron Man and Batman, so that argument is total bullshit). I’m sorry that there was a rad sex scene in it. I’m sorry that it was unlike any other super hero movie you’ve ever seen and you’re just too dense to accept it for what it is. I’ve always said there are 2 types of people in this world: those who read Vonnegut and those who don’t. Now I can easily sum humanity up with this film: Those who get “Watchmen” and those who don’t.

For all of these people who didn’t like “Watchmen,” at least they got the new “Harry Potter” and “Star Trek” trailers out of it. So awesome.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I saw the new teaser poster for the movie. “HP6.” HP6?!?!?!? What the fuck is that?!? It’s called “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!” Or even “Harry Potter 6.” Whatever! Why, why, why do these Hollywood marketers and advertisers insist on retarding everything? The same thing pissed me off for the last 2 X-Men films. “X2” and “X3.” Just say X-Men 2. Is it really all that hard saying one whole extra syllable?? You’re not going to lose that much time out of your day, trust me. All of these idiotic abbreviations aren’t doing the movies any favors. They’re just making these films sound like various stages of venereal diseases, not to mention the fact they’re dumbing people down and making them linguistically lazy.

As far as trailers go, if you haven’t seen the new trailer for “Where the Wild Things Are,” I beseech you to look it up and watch it. It looks absolutely amazing. The Arcade Fire soundtrack just adds to my joy. Hopefully, the movie will get Spike Jonze in the mood again to do “Harold and the Purple Crayon.” Oh, excuse me. I meant to say “HATPC1.”

Sorry if I seem a little more venomous than usual. I had a shitty weekend. Read my other blog to find out a little about it. Plus,. I'm sorry there are no pics on this post. Damn site is acting up.

HB, DS!

2009-03-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

Looks like today is Dr. Suesss's birthday! It was 105 years ago today that Mama Geisel gave birth to little Theodore, the doctor of nothing who would introduce children to the wonders of seeing severly crazy shit without the use of halucinagenic narcotics. And who would be the inspiration for me trying to put hats on cats as a child (much to their displeasure), hop on my pop (much to his displeasure), as well as the force behind a Universal ride that causes me to vomit every time I make a go of it (much to the displeasure of those around me).

Here's to you, Dr. Theodore Seuss Geisel!! Thanks for the imagination and the lessons.

Oh yeah, and thanks for these jagoffs:

Aaaaaand the nightmares:

Absence

2009-02-20T16:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been MIA. I've been super busy at work. Rest assured, though, when I get the chance, I've got tons to write about. In the meantime, catch up with my other blog. Dork free with the same laughs and a little extra insight. Oh, and a lot more bitching. And toilets.

My roommate just told me that the Yeah Yeah Yeah's are the Pixies of "our" generation. I had to stifle my urge to smack him and instead responded that the Pixies are actually the Pixies of my generation. I always knew the guy was a little musically inept, but jesus christ, really?!?!?!? The only good thing to come out of the Yeah Yeah Yeah's was Head Wound City and the countless nights I spent alone in my room, drunk on whiskey and crying to "Maps."

Speaking of whiskey drunk, I kinda woke up like this last week with a few little embarrassing details left out. Amazingly, I wasn't hungover. I think I was so drunk the night before I transcended mere regular drunkness.

Happy Friday the 13th

2009-02-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

Warning:

PLUS

EQUALS

It's not easy to give me nightmares, but what the hell, EA? What. The. Hell?

Mid-Season Trades

2009-02-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

Even though it's only 2 episodes into its "3rd Volume," fuck to Heroes. This past Mondays episode was a complete waste of my time. The only redeeming quality was Sylar's story and his new protege, that one kid from that one thing I saw not too long ago. That and my millionth time seeing the Watchmen trailer. Aside from that, I got to watch the same fucking scene play out over and over and over again for an hour. I wanted death.

So, I'm pretty much over that show. It's like every relationship I've ever had: it started out cool as shit but ended up becoming a ridiculous mess that no one wanted to be a aprt of any longer. What a letdown. My new night to look forward to is Tuesdays for Fringe, basically making my most beloved TV viewing nights those which are dominated by JJ Abrams shows. And to think I nearly gave up on that show a few months ago because it wasn't holding my attention. That mothefucker went from 0 to 100 in from out of nowhere. I can't even believe I'm watching the same show now. It's getting in-fucking-sane. It started as an X-Files rip-off to this show about powers and multiverses and wars between dimensions and all sorts of trippy shit. Considering who created the show and where LOST has gone, how am I even surprised? My only gripe is that it is taking yet another hiatus and will be back on in April. What the fuck, Fox?

As an added bonus to Fringe, I saw a badass preview of Watchmen that literally brought tears to my eyes. March 6th can't get here fast enough. And speaking of movies, I don't know how much time you have left, but go see My Bloody Valentine 3D while you still can. In Orlando, it's at Universal (midnight showings only) and on the digital screen at Disney (for $12, but hot damn what a way to drop that kind of cash). Don't forget kids, Jason Vorhees makes his "re-imagined" appearance this Friday!!!!

Great Job!

2009-02-09T10:05:00.001-08:00

I'm free to blog at work again!!! The managers I was training have left and now I can dick around as usual. It's even easier now because our systems are down at work, giving me absolutely nothing to do.

Get your poke on

SO, I finally got to see the Tim and Eric Awesome Tour this past Friday night. It truly was awesome. And courtesy of my pal Brian and his awesome Christmas present to me, I got to sit in VIP, which, I found out, doesn't really have any benefits other than getting someone to bring your drinks to you. Our server was pretty, though. A little too skinny, but pretty. We also got the opportunity to meet Tim's parents. Kinda neat.

On the flipside, I had to miss O'Death on Thursday because of A) a lack of money and B) not knowing if I'm going to have a job in a couple of weeks or not, which directly relates to the severity of A. I was supposed to hang with the Hex Tremors for all of their dates with O'Death in FL and do roadie-type things, too. Damn it all. I just read on Octohawk's blog that she was able to go and now that I know she, too, is a fan of the band, I'm happy she was able to attend. Still, it would have been nice to have finally met her in person. I'm finding the girl's got impeccable taste in music.

Get your broke on

You know who else has impeccable taste in music? Me. I've been on a weird DEVO/Wall of Voodoo/Modern English kick of late. Sometimes you gotta take a few steps back to move ahead. In fact, I think I may have just stumbled upon my topic for this post.

Let's talk One-Hit-Wonders.

Good lord, how I loathe that term. It is strictly based on record sales and has nothing to do with the actual talent of the bands unlucky enough to fall under this category. What's worse is that every time you attend an 80's Night, that's all you hear. Forget the fact that a lot of these groups have incrdible, extensive catalogues. Nope. We're just going to focus on the one song that has been shoved down everyone's throat for the last 20-odd years. As you can see, I'm pretty annoyed by it.

The image matches the sound

Let's take a look at Wall of Voodoo. What song do we know from them? "Mexican Radio." A truly awesome song, no doubt, but for fuck sake! The guys have 2 full length albums and an EP! (That's not really true, but those are the albums that Stan Ridgway is on. Anything released after he left really isn't WOV to me. Though "Happy Planet" is pretty good.) They are so much more than just one song!! They gave politically and socially fueled, creepy, spaghetti western new wave a place in music history and have influenced a lot more bands than people realize. They're honestly right up there with DEVO. In fact, they used to perform with them a lot in the early 80's.

In this case, pay no attention to what they look like

How about Modern English? Good God, I am so sick of "Melt With You." I really am. That song is so out of place with their overall sound, you'd be surprised it's the same band. The hit single came from their second album called "After the Snow." I read something recently that stated this album was their more poppy, radio freindly album after their first release, "Mesh and Lace." I don't recall who wrote that, but they're idiots. There's nothing poppy or radio friendly about that record, with the exception of the single. It's a beautiful, lonely sounding album, with "Melt With You" being a scar on it's visage. It's more likely to be played at I Bar's goth night as opposed to Thursdays or Fridays. Do yourself a favor and find "After the Snow." It's out of print, but you can always download it. Trust me on this one.

After the Snow

This is all I've got for now. I tried to make this post somewhat funny, but I'm pretty passionate about the mistreatment of good 80's bands. Maybe I'll write about some of the goofy movies I watched this weekend. In the meantime, I'm going to get back to work. I get antsy when I've messed around on the internets too much.

In The Shit

2009-02-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

I haven't really been regularly following people's blogs this week. Nor have I been writing anything new. I've been training the managers from Nashville all week on how to do my job, so they can go back to TN and train their people, wherein I will get laid off. It's amazing how these big corporations work us peons. Being utterly disposable feels so good.

So, yeah, I've been kinda busy. But, believe me, I'll have plenty of time on my hands to blog before too long. I'll also probably be doing it from Asheville, NC.

Is it me, or was tonight's LOST kind of predictable? Oh, and the new season of Torchwood is coming on soon, and what's shown in England will be synced up with what's shown here on BBCA, which I think is pretty cool. No more waiting to see what gender (or species) Captain Jack is going to try to fuck that week, knowing the Brits have known 4 months in advance. (Thank god for torrents.)

2009-01-30T12:49:00.000-08:00

When I left the house this morning, it was in the 50's. By the time I got to work it was in the 40's. What the fuck?!?!?

The Bone Blog boys just posted a thing about Nugnuts. It's a video, which I can't view at work, but I really don't need to see it to know. In case you don't know, McDonald's started this new ad campaign aimed at Chicken McNugget lovers. Apparently, these people are called "Nugnuts" and nothing could make me angrier. Nugnuts? Jesus fucking Christ. I would annihilate someone if they ever called me something as idiotic as a "Nugnut." How is that even a good idea?!? How was it proposed and what higher-up at Mickey D's said, "Holy crap! That's it!!! You nailed it!!! Nugnut! It's so obvious!!" God damn it I hate advertising. (Sorry, Mary)

I typed "Nugnut" into Google Images and I got this!!! Haha!!

My roommate invited the infant over who he's been trying to hook up with for months now and isn't getting anywhere. I keep telling him she needs to hit puberty first. Haha! She's 21, but that's still waaay too young for an old codger like me. Especially when she acts like she's 21. Anyway, I was trying to sleep last night and I guess she had brought a friend over or something. The idiot dog was going apeshit (and, naturally, the roommate was doing very little to quell the barking). I got really annoyed because I think I heard whoever this girl was making fun of my box of Powerpuff Girl cereal. Is it normal for me to be mad about something like that? I mean, the Powerpuff Girls were the shit with all of us 10 years ago, not that this girl would remember because she was probably just getting out of her training pants. All my college roomates and I would do was sit around, smoke weed, and watch Cartoon Network, especially when Dexter's Lab, Powerpuff Girls, Transformers: Beast Wars, or Dragonball Z was on. Seriously, each of us had a Powerpuff Girl keychain that matched our personalities. I had Blossom. It's Gendy Tartokofsky for fuck sake!!! He's directing the new Dark Crystal sequel!!! He did Samurai Jack and the Clone Wars!!! There is nothing at all wrong with a grown man enjoying the Powerpuff Girls. Especially when I have a box of 10 year old cereal full of marshmallows and Pop Rocks. It's true. It has Pop Rocks in it. And the box is beautiful. It's all sparkly and shit. Let this idiot little girl laugh. I'll be laughing when I sell that shit on ebay for a ton of cash. These kids today know nothing of good script writing and animation styles. Or good cartoons.

God damn it!!!! I guess it was bound to happen. Sigh.

She may or may not have been laughing at my Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring collector glasses from Burger King, too. If I had heard that, I would have lost my shit. Fucking Nugnut.

The King of Cradle-Robbers

Speaking of The Dark Crystal, I just wrote this in an email to MaryTylerWhore and thought it pertinent to share with the rest of y'all (because I crack myself up):

Having 2 blogs is proving to be difficult. I was posting in the new blog when I realized halfway through that it’s a blog better suited for Dork Side. My split personalities are beginning to merge like the Mystics and the Skeksis at the end of The Dark Crystal. I’m becoming an Urskek. I just attempted to Google Skeksis to make sure I was spelling it right and it’s actually in Urban Dictionary. When the fuck do you ever hear that on the street? “Yo, Dogg! My girl came over last night and she wouldn’t stop fightin’ with me over the remote. I had to get all Skeksis on her ass and do a Trial By Stone! Bitch is lucky I didn’t call my Garthim!” What the hell?

Ha! Urban Crystal. Actually, I think that's the new street name for meth. Seriously, though, if you're bored at work or something, look up random Dark Crystal stuff on Wikipedia, like character names and whatnot. It is honestly the best thing ever.

Muuuuuch scarier in German.

Whhhhaaaaaaa?????

2009-01-29T08:02:00.000-08:00

John Updike died the other day from lung cancer! What the fuck?!?!? Why isn't this plastered all over the place??? The man won the Pulitzer, for crisakes!!! Twice!! I'll bet if someone who played some kind of sport died or an actor, you wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing their face.

F'r Crying Out Loud

2009-01-28T09:13:00.000-08:00

I just started a new blog. This time it's personal. It's called "F'r Crying Out Loud" and it can be found through my blogspot or the url http://twoforpunching.blogspot.com/. It's basically stuff I want to write about that really has nothing at all to do with geek pop culture. I'm going to try not to bitch too much about life, but I'm not promising anything. Hopefully it will mostly consist of the funny, fucked up things that go on in my day-to-days. I used to blog all the time about personal things on my Myspace, but that taste has since soured greatly for me. I feel blogspot is slightly more anonymous and distant, which is how I like to be. The world through my eyes is an incredibly fucked up, bizarre, beautiful place and I'm just rolling with the punches in my own tragically funny way. I haven't written anything yet, since I made it a whole 2 seconds ago, but I will. Oh, I will.

The gears are also turning to start a new podcast. I think I know who I want to do it with. I just have to lay down the plan and see if my buddy says yes. Basically, it'll just be the 2 of us talking about whatever and being drunk while we do it. I got the idea from other friends who do podcasts, only they do theirs sober. BOOOORIIIIING!!!! Nah, not really. Their stuff is actually pretty funny, I just think I can do it better 3 sheets to the wind with someone who likes to drink as much as yours truly. I want to have guests on all the time, too, drinking with us. If it plays out like it does in my head, it's going to be awesome, hilarious, and disasterous. Like the Blood Brothers once said: Everybody needs a little devestation. I'll keep y'all posted. Literally.

Those Dancing Days

2009-01-22T12:17:00.000-08:00

So, anyone watch LOST last night? I'd like to hear some thoughts. Personally, I thought it was AMAZING!!!!!!!!

I'm completely in love with the girls from Those Dancing Days. I want them to come over and smoke weed, drink OE, and watch Mr. Show with me. Cuddling and Swedish Fish might be involved.

Ze Plane! Ze Plane!

2009-01-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

To keep up with the island theme (see last post about LOST), I decided to continue on with the teaser I left a few posts ago when I honored the life of Ricardo Montalban. I do a lot of research on Wikipedia. And by a lot, I mean, every time I look something up, I click on damn near every single link throughout whatever article I'm reading. I'm a total fag for learning. It's also where I get some of my keen info that I post on here. Really the only difference between me and Wikipedia is that I have more pictures and I'm a lot funnier. Well, anyway, as I was doing a little research on Ricardo Montalban (none of which I ended up using), I got to reading about a certain someone who has always been close to my heart. And by close to my heart, I mean he was really, really short.

Let's talk Herve Villechaize!!!!

Who the fuck is Herve Villechaize?!?!?!? Are you kidding?!?!? Have you never seen a single episode of Fantasy Island?!?!? Have you never seen the James Bond film The Man With the Golden Gun?!?!? Even those who have never seen Fantasy Island (never mind that God awful late 90's remake with Malcolm McDowell) should be at least vaguely familiar with the iconic call "Ze plane! Ze plane!"

Little Big World

Herve, better known as Tattoo, the diminutive assistant to Montalban's Mr. Roarke, and the evil Knick Knack from The Man With the Golden Gun, was born in 1943 to a British mother and French father of Filipino ancestory. Due to excessive coffee drinking, his growth was stunted and he suffered from proportionate dwarfism. Nah, I'm just kidding. It was a thyroid problem. It's always a thyroid problem with these little fuckers. Still, don't drink coffee, kids. Well, apparently, Mr. Villechaize got a lot of shit from kids when he went to school, further strengthening my opinon that French people are assholes, and he found escape in painting, leading him to become an *shudder* art student.

Darren Aranofsky had originally cast Villechaize in "The Wrestler," which, needless to say, wasn't "Golden Globe worthy"

Get Shorty

After a stint in some French art school (a term that makes me want to go into a culture seizure), Herve packed up his tiny, little bags and headed to the promising, golden shores of the USA where he ate out of dumpsters and lived as a vagrant. I'm only half making that up. He taught himself how to speak English watching television and did a bunch of plays. He had a bunch of roles in crappy movies, like Oliver Stone's Seizure (2nd time I got to use that word in one paragraph!), Carnival of Blood, and even an offer to be in Dune waaaay before Lynch was hired to direct. I can't for the life of me figure out which role he was being considered for. Maybe Alicia Witt's Alia? God damn that would have been funny!

Ze spice, Barron! Ze spice!

Anyway, so he got his James Bond role, which pretty much pulled the little fella out of poverty and landed him his spot on Fantasy Island. Out of the Pinto and into the penthouse. Now, here's something important to remember. Do not, and I mean, Do Not, get Herve's Knick Knack character confused with Weng Weng, Agent 003 1/2 from For Your Height Only. These are 2 entirely different people. Weng Weng was skilled in martial arts and had a shit ton of gadgets, like flying pork pie hats. Knick Knack just ran around and looked dapper.

Knick Knack

Not Knick Knack

The Terror of Tiny Town

So, the big man ended up getting himself a bitchin supporting role on Fantasy Island as that little shit who liked to yell a lot and tried to run people over with his golf cart. Here's where things started to get fun. It turns out, and I didn't know this, that good ole, fun loving Tattoo was a real pain in the ass to work with. He used to fight with the producers all of the time and, get this, he was a huge womanizer!!!! Fuck yeah, guy!!! The man was Gary Coleman before Gary Coleman was Gary Coleman!!! God damn it, I would have been honored to have been his wing man. On top of it all, and maybe this was because he was French, he insisted on being a called a midget. Holy crap, what is up with this guy???? Doing that pretty much pissed off all of the other hobbits in Hollywoodland who wanted to be called "little people," including Billy Barty. I don't know if you've seen Legend or Under the Rainbow or not, but Billy Barty was not someone to be fucked with, to hell with what the Razzies say. Anyway, I have it on very good authority (an actual conversation I had back in 2001 with Warwick Davis) that they're called "short actors" now. Haha! Whatever.

Big pimpin?

Death Rides a Small Horse

Ultimately, Herve got fired from Fantasy Island and was replaced with some hoity-toity douchebag who couldn't even be bothered enough to ring the damn bell. Needless to say, that was the Island's last season, which proves Tattoo carried that show. Later, he was in a couple of Skinemax movies and, according to his butler, fell into the habit of sitting in a dark room every night, getting wasted, and screaming obscenities at old Fantasy Island reruns. Sounds like we both have something in common. Okay, now close your eyes and picture this whole scenario in your head. Amazing.

Here's where things get kinda sad. It's also where I smack myself upside the head and exclaim, "No shit!" Herve committed suicide in 1993 by shooting himself. Shut up, it's not funny!!! Okay, maybe slightly. Can you imagine that huge gun in his little hand? I gotta know how he did it. I don't mean to disrespect, but it would have been cool if he had survived and came out looking like a little Arseface from Preacher. He totally would have gotten parts in Ghoulies sequels. Anyway, it turns out that at the time of his untimely demise he was in talks with the Williams Street people to be the actual co-host on Space Ghost Coast to Coast. That show is fucking awesome to begin with! Can you imagine how much more incredible it would have been with Tattoo running around?!?!?!?! Herve, you idiot.

And so ends our tale of Herve Villechaize (complete with experimental chapter headings!!!!). Undoubtedly, he left one hell of a legacy behind. You can disagree with me if you want, but all I know is that I spent a very large majority of my childhood running around screaming about planes arriving every 5 minutes, much to my parents' dismay. Herve even found himself shirtless on the cover of a Spazz 7" complete with drawn on jailhouse tattoos. If that doesn't say "you've made it," nothing will. Close it out for us, Randy Newman!!!!

Happy LOST Day!!!

2009-01-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

Are you excited? I'm excited.

Not to be too much of a spoiler, especially since I have absloutely no clue what's going to happen this season (but I have theories!!!!), but is that Jin I see? Hmmmmm.....

Rock Band 2: Ttoally Deconstructing Your Musical Tastes, One Band at a Time

2009-01-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

I feel it is very, very wrong that because of Rock Band 2, I now almost always have Rise Against and Paramore running through my head., two bands I could not have given 2 shits about in the past. But the songs are so damn catchy!

In order to negate the effects of Rock Band (without playing Mission of Burma or The Replacements for the umpteenth time), I just got my nerdy little paws on the new albums from Morrissey and Antony and the Johnsons. So fucking good!!!! I think the Smoking Popes rubbed off on ole Moz a bit. I also replaced my missing Gob Iron and old Guilt CD's.

Musically, life is good.

Ah, he's still got it! My box of Cheezits, I mean. I really would like to have them back, Stephen.

Ricardo Gonzalo Pedro Montalban y Merino 11/25/1920 - 1/14/09

2009-01-15T06:49:00.000-08:00

We'll miss you, Mr. Roarke!! (This post is kind of a nice segue to my next post. hint hint.)

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!

I "Shit" You Not

2009-01-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

This story is in today's orlandosentinel.com:

"CLEARWATER, Fla. - A monkey is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Wildlife officials say the rhesus monkey isn't dangerous but the species is known to throw feces when mad."

Look out, Tampa! There's a poop-slinging monkey running loose and it's pissed! Don't leave home without your Gallagher garbage bags!

Between this and the Clermont girl who sent 35,000 text messages in one month, I don't know how I get by every morning without a paper subscription.

How Great Is This?

2009-01-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Boner Party my day was totally made this morning.

Granted it's not the Jessica Drew red and yellow costume, nor is it the Julia Carpenter black and white Spider-Woman, but you know what? I look at that and I just don't care. (Though, the Jessica Drew costume would be pretty bad ass.) Anyway, it sure hell beats:

You may go pluck your eyes out now.

Work Filler

2009-01-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

My God is it slow at work today. I'm pretty much finished with everything and I have another 4 hours to go. That's 4 hours of making it look like I'm doing something, despite the fact there's nothing to do, and making it not look like I'm fucking around on the internet.

Let's talk podcasts!

Right now, I'm actually trying to pass the time listening to a podcast done by a couple of lady friends of mine from NYC. It's called Hey Girl Hey and it's run by 2 lovely ladies named Dina and Laura. They both used to live here in Orlando a few years ago and this podcast is great because now I don't have to miss them so much anymore. Plus, I get the inside scoop on the every day happenings of NYC. You should give the podcast a listen if you're down with the iTunes and iPods. I get a kick out of it because I know them, but I think others would dig it, too. It's like talk radio.

You should also check out another friend's podcast called The Printing Press. It's a Lost book club done by my buddy Brian and it centers around the books that are featured in various episodes of Lost. Like a Lynch film, pretty much everything means something in that show, including and especially the books the characters are reading. Each book on the podcast is separated into 2 parts and Brian and our Lost-fan-in-arms, Karen, discuss the books and how they relate to a particular character on the show. If you're a Lostie, you should most definitely check it out. Even if you're a fan of good literature, you might be interested.

Man, this is the longest work day ever. Okay, what else can I talk about?

Ooh! Let's talk comic books!!!!

So, after doing a little piece on the enigmatic, short-lived run of Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine (or Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk, whatever) I did a little investigating because I thought I had seen something about issue #3 coming out some time this year. I was pretty sure I saw a ".uk" at the end of the web address and what the hell do the Brits know about American books, right? (Which makes me wonder: since we have the Captain Britain book here, do they read Captain America books in England? And if they do, why? I mean, Captain Britain fights some crazy fantasy shit. All Captain America does is fight psychotic despots and dies.) Anyway, I checked it out and Mr. Damon Lindeloff, writer and co-creator of Lost, finally finished the final issue of this comic series no one thought would be completed and is resuming in just a matter of months! Finally!!!! Leinel Yu even stated that he would pick his pencilling duties back up once he was finished with his amazing run on Secret Invasion. I'm a little excited about this.

Wolverine had to split. Get it? Get it?!?

And how about that Secret Invasion finale???? Sad, but I'm glad it's finally over. Sort of. **SPOILERS** It left a founding member of the Avengers, Janet Van Dyne/the Wasp, dead along with several members of the Initiative, another, Hank Pym/Janet's ex-husband/Yellowjacket, with a totally "new" identity (taking up the Wasp mantle with a new costume), Tony Stark in complete ruin and on the run, the Skrull impersonating Jarvis disappearing with Jessica Jones and Luke Cage's baby girl, SHIELD disbanded, Nick Fury going underground yet again, and Norman Osborne in charge of everything and creating the hero-hunting Dark Avengers (which will be debuting in just a couple of weeks). Thanks for nothing, Skrulls. And Mockingbird is still alive!!! Big news for Clint Barton/Ronin since I'm pretty sure they were still married when "she" had "died." This is kind of a really big deal, especially for Clint Barton. Honest to God, I cannot wait to see where this is going to take the Marvel Universe. All of the comics are now part of an all-encompassing story arc called Dark Reign, and the name should say it all. I do hear rumor that the new Captain America (Bucky) will be joining the New Avengers and I can't wait to see how the dynamics work between the former Winter Soldier and the rest of the team. Still, I kind of wonder if the original Cap, Steve Rogers, really is dead. Or was that a Skrull? And who's this Iron Patriot guy on Dark Avengers?? Hmmmmmm.....

Comic books: soap operas for dorks. Well, that and pro wrestling.

SHHHHH!!!! The newest episode of X-Men's on!!!!

God damn, I think I just gave myself a nerdgasm. Okay, I'm done with comic books for now. Let's talk movies!!!

I was special enough to catch a "private" screening of the upcoming Darren Aronofsky film "The Wrestler" with the incredible Mickey Rourke. Holy crap! I loved it! Honestly, if you get the chance to see it when it gets released, fucking do it!!! I can't even talk about too much, so just take my word for it. In the words of Roger Ebert: Shit's dope.

I also got around to watching "Milk" and "Happy Go Lucky" last night. There's not much to say about "Milk." Sean Penn is the shit. It's the first Gus Van Sant film I've liked since "My Own Private Idaho." I cried a little at the end and I'm not even gay. It was a really good movie and solid performances from everyone, even my boy Emile, who I didn't see one speck of Speed Racer or Alpha Dog. Speaking of which, fuck all of those critics who are saying "Speed Racer" was one of the worst films of 2008. Some people obviously didn't get it. Owen from Entertainment Weekly even said the original anime is "forgettable." Eat a dick.

"Happy Go Lucky" was kind of annoying. It's about a really peppy London girl, named Poppy of all things, who is happy all of the time. That's about it. She runs into some of life's little obstacles and she deals with it all with a smile and good attitude. Honestly? Half the time I wanted to punch her and the other half I wanted to call her to come over and hang out. The major saving grace of the film is that the character and her roommate are both primary school teachers, so I could easily relate since that happens to be my choice of degree (however, not profession because they're currently firing teachers as opposed to hiring them). That and there was a scene where Poppy was hooking up and it got me to thinking that she must be insane in the sack. I mean, someone that peppy and energetic? Jesus christ. I'd probably get scared.

Speaking of scary sex.

Okay, so let's talk New Years Resolutions since I still have another 40 minutes here at work and I'm fucking dying to kill more time.

Mine for this year are to get myself back into decent shape again (thanks to my friend Trevor's Wii Fit telling me I have the health of a 43 year old, the fucking bastard game) and to be a happier, more positive person. If you think about it, these are truly attainable resolutions and I'm okay with that. I was thinking about doing the whole "drinking less" thing, but who the hell am I kidding? Besides, that will probably come naturally with me getting fit and spending all of my spare money on health food. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised with myself if I did a smash and grab at a liquor store one of these days if it came down to it.

This is possibly the most unfocused blog I have ever written. I'm out.

Bring on the New Year

2008-12-31T08:21:00.000-08:00

Oh, my god what a year.

We've seen some amazing things happen in 2008. A country become politically (and morally) divided even worse than it had in 2004, which I'm still a bit disgusted by.

A woman we haven't seen as such an unfit mother or human being since that chick who drowned her kids in her own car and blamed it on black people.

A cowboy.

A comedic disaster.

Some pretty good music.

Some amazing comic book movies (finally).

Some great comics, including the heart-breaking conclusion of Y: The Last Man.

And some great television (sorry, Heroes, better luck next year).

I know there are some shows that probably belong there, but there's just so much time in the day, ya know?

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that my team is ending the year at the top of the table in both the Premier League and Champions League!! Let's hope they keep it up through to May.

Even Stevie G is ending his year by being brought up on charges of starting a bar fight last week and somehow hospitalizing a DJ. The guy must have really sucked.
And I'm sorry to all of my female readers, but I'm going to be a total dude for just a moment and say that this is the absolute best Liverpool kit I've ever seen on anyone.

I hope 2008 was good to everyone, or, at least, better than '07. I know I had a pretty life-changing year with a new car, new job, new house, some new hobbies, a new blog, and a new outlook on life. Sure, there have been some hang-ups like reconciling a friendship with someone I love very much only to have it fall apart again, making an ass of myself on a couple of occasions, and not getting a teaching job, but what's life without a few snags, right? They just make you a stronger person in the end. Sometimes it's good luck we don't get what we want.

With a new prez, the economy imploding on itself, my new nephew on the way, Norman Osborne/The Green Goblin in charge of the entire Marvel Universe, the Ultimate Marvel Universe coming to an end, the Watchmen movie coming out this summer, the new Radio Dept full-length finally coming out, the new and second-to-the-last season of Lost coming on in a month, Liverpool possibly being the number one football team in all of Europe, and me with the possibility of moving out-of-state, just for starters, this upcoming year will be an interesting one, for sure.

Salut.

Movies of Future Past

2008-12-23T11:20:00.000-08:00

Let's talk movies that haven't come out yet!

So, has anyone seen the screen shots from the upcoming Spike Jonez "Where the Wild Things Are" yet? Pure poetry.

How flippin cool does this movie look???? I mean, I'm sure we were all amazed by the Maurice Sendak classic as kids, but it just feels so good to be equally amazed with it as an adult when I look at these stills. It makes me want to put on an animal costume and run about like a little maniac.

But not like these weirdos. Never, ever like them.

Anyone see the "Wolverine: Origin" trailer? It looks like an interesting mash-up of the thousands of stories mulled up about who James "Logan" Howlett is and where his past took him. I still would have liked to see him with that crazy helmet on when he was first infused with Adamantium and went completley apeshit. In the trailer, he looks completely normal, just wet and mad. Ah whatever. I really want to give this movie a fair shot but there are certain things holding me back.

For one, I still have yet to let go of the clusterfucked blasphemy of the last X-Men film. I fully understand that the movies have the right to take their own path from the original source material for hundreds of different reasons, but what they did in that movie to the story and to the characters is fucking unforgivable. A 10-year old could have written a better and more faithful script and kept it within a 2-hour time frame. I could go on and on about "what I would have done," but I'll save that for another time. After that film and the ridiculous mess Rush Hour 3 was, Brett Ratner will forever remain on my shitlist.

For another, there seem to be way too many mutants and Wolverine characters. Silver Fox, Emma Frost, The Blob, Gambit, Deadpool, Stryker, Sabretooth, Cyclops (though, how he's in the film is beyond me since he was just a kid when the Weapon X Project was tooling around with the cannucklehead's bones), Storm, John Wraith, Zero, and Beak, to name a few. Wait, Beak?!?!? Fucking Beak?!?!?!?!?!??!? Okay, now they're really screwing with the timeline. And I'm kind of annoyed that I haven't seen Maverick nor Garrison Kane in the line-up.

Finally, I'm concerned about the casting of Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth. Sorry, but there is nothing at all about that man that says "feral, mutant, psychopathic killer." He looks like he'd rather order a rack of lamb with mint jelly as opposed to ripping out someone's guts with his teeth. Though, he's a pretty good actor, not to mention director, so we'll see how it pans out. I was wrong about Ledger, after all. Little known fact: his first name is pronounced "Lau," as in "bough." I never knew.

"A mauling?!? Oh, heavens no!! I said 'who wants to go to the mall?'"

I have to admit, though, that it is pretty cool that a lot of the cast are big comic book nerds. Ryan Reynolds has been working with David Goyer for a while to get Deadpool made (and a Goyer-penned Deadpool would be incredible), both Schreiber and Hugh Jackman are big Wolverine fans, and even the writer of the film is a comic book fan turned script-writer. The only thing that will screw this up is the director not knowing a whole lot about comics. However, what he's had to say about Wolverine has been pretty on-target and he seems to understand the gist of the character. I don't know. It's a comic book movie and even though the last few Hollywood has cranked out have been exceptionally amazing, there's still a huge margin for epic failure. I mean, Ryan Reynolds and Leiv Schreiber as psycopathic villains?? What's next? A fight between Wolverine and Ed Norton?

Whose D to I have to S to make this happen?

Which reminds me, has anyone been catching the Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk jokes that have been running rampant throughout the Ultimate books these last few months? They always catch me by surprise (because they're always so subtle) and they never fail to make me laugh. Rats Off to books without endings (*ahem* Steampunk!! *ahem*).

How's it gonna end? The world may never know.

The Nutty Arch-Nemesis? Dr. Do-Riddle?

2008-12-18T11:54:00.000-08:00

Here's some news that I truly, truly, truly hope is not true. Truly.

Eddie Murphy as The Riddler, Shia LeWhatever as Robin, and possibly Rachel Weiss as Catwoman?!?!?

God, let's hope The Sun is being their usual full-of-shit selves on this one. I haven't checked IMDB yet, simply out of fear it might actually be true. Robin and Catwoman could very well be in the movie, though, since it is rumored the next film is to be titled "Gotham Knights," the clue being in the pluralization. God, I'm starting to even sound like Edward Nigma.

I have complete faith in Christopher Nolan, but that goes just so far. Though, I did scoff when I first heard about Heath Ledger/Joker and I'm proud to say I was incredibly wrong about that. Let's just hope Nolan keeps the nipples off the suits.

Riddle me this: Can it get much worse?

Update: Thank God for ScreenRant.com. And am I the only one who thinks it odd that the 3D remake of My Bloody Valentine is coming out one whole month before Make All the Single Unloved People Feel Like Shit Day?

Pushing Daisies is Pushig Daisies

2008-12-17T14:21:00.000-08:00

It was just confirmed to me by Brian, after getting on him to watch Pushing Daisies tonight and prepping a blog to tell you all the same in order to save the show, that one of the best shows currently on television has been axed by ABC. So sad and so true. It has gone the way of programs like Arrested Development, highly inventive but little watched. This saddens me to no end. Love is dead.

Not without my monkey!!

Bryan Fuller, the show's creator and producer, has said that he's been planning on doing a series of comics based on the show to tie up some lose ends and may possibly do a movie. Whatever. We've heard that before. However, he is one of the originals who helmed the first season of Heroes, so there may be a little proof swirled into his pudding.

Meh.

Speaking of which, with Pushing Daisies having shot their final episode (I'm about to cry), there's a good chance that Fuller might be back on board with Heroes, a show that has been slumping storyline-wise in a major way. Thankfully, Tim Kring, that show's creator and head writer, put down the word processor for this past Monday's episode and let comic (sometimes) great Jeff Loeb knock out a pretty excellent story, ending Volume 3 of Heroes, Villains, and opening it up for February's Volume 4, Fugitives. It's tough to tell based on one episode, but the shit seems to be getting good again. I hope.

Welcome back, Micah, you creepy little bastard.

Here's to you Pushing Daisies. I loved you when you were here and I'll miss you when you're gone. Man, this is turning out to be a really crappy week.

Pep Talk

2008-12-17T12:14:00.000-08:00

Descendents did this little gem found on their 1983 (I think) release "I Don't Wanna Grow Up." Bill Stevenson wrote it for Milo Aukerman while Milo was going through a rough break up. It's a brilliant song. Of course, they were only in their early-20's at the time. This song becomes less and less believable the older you get and the more heartbreaks you have to endure. Just sayin'.

"It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You don't need her anyway

You're looking around for someone to love
So you don't have to face the world alone
But give it some time and you might find
That you're better off on you own
Cause you could be dead right now
You could be the stupidest thing in the world
But you're not, look at what you've got
And stop thinking about that girl

You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it
don't settle for less, you know you're gonna regret it

It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You don't need her anyway

Watching the tube, moping around
Might as well be six feet underground
You're watching the game go by
Waiting for the final score
You got the beer commercials memorized
So you've probably heard this before
But this ain't the TV talking to you
It's a friend who's gonna tell you what you can do

You deserve the best, but it's up to you to get it
don't settle for less, be all the best and don't you forget it

I know what you're thinking ... you'll never find another
And even if you did, well, you couldn't love her
But out there somewhere is the person, place or thing
That you need to make you believe in you

It's not the end of the world
Since your baby left you
It's gonna be okay
You can find something better anyway

Just take your time. and you will find
What your life requires
Just take your time. and you will find
What your heart desires
Just take your time. and you will find
You will find"

Broken Hearts

2008-12-17T08:34:00.000-08:00

Having a broken heart is seriously unfun and is an awesome way to ruin your week. Let the weight loss begin!!

I Don't Know Billy Ocean and I Don't Know the Ocean Floor

2008-12-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm asking myself, why on Earth would I write about Billy Ocean? My answer to this is why the hell not? If the Promise Ring could sing about him, I should have the same privileges.

So, there was this radio station in Tampa when I used to live there called JOE (Jammin' Hits of the 70's and 80's). I guess no one told them that when creating an acronym, you really can't pick and choose random letters. I wish I could remember what the station number was. I'm sure it's still operational. I think they later became strictly 80's. Anyway, it was a pretty magical station because every time I turned it on, and I mean every time, Caribbean Queen was playing. I shit you not. At one point, I was here in Orlando visiting my best mate Brian and I told him about the station and what consistently occurs. He found it amusing but I don't think he really believed me. We were driving down the road later on that weekend and he bore witness to me turning to the station and low and behold, there was Billy Ocean denying his love the ability to run. And that is the power of Ocean.

Now I didn't know this, and I'm rather ashamed, but Billy isn't from America. This is kind of a relief, because since I haven't heard from him in years, I just assumed he was dead. Not true!!!! He is actually British. Can you believe that? Well, technically he's from Trinidad, but he's been living in Albion since childhood, so that's good enough for me.

You know who else isn't British? Bono. Here he is doing his best Angelina impression.

I have another shocker for you.

No, Jenna, not that kind of shocker, you bad girl, you.

Still the wrong shocker.

The shocker I'm referring to is in regards to Mr. Ocean's name, which it is not! His real name is Leslie Sebastian Charles. As a matter of fact, his very first release in Britain was under the name Les Charles way back in '72. It wasn't until 1975 that he adopted the name based on where he was living (Ocean Place) and I was born. Again, the power of Ocean. Just the mere creation of the name put my mom into labor. Get out of my uterus and into my car.

There really isn't much else to speak of about Billy Ocean aside from his song "When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going" made famous by the film "Romancing the Stone." You remember that movie, right? The one with Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito where the Jewel turns out to be some old Indian dude? Fucking lame. Do not, however, get Billy confused with fellow Brit (technically from Guyana, truth be told) Eddy Grant (real name) who did the title track for the movie's predecessor, "Romancing the Stone," which is, in my opinion a much better film. Mostly because it paved the way for Zemeckis to do "Back to the Future," and I'd hate to think where we would be as a society without that movie. It alao introduced most of us to the sultry voice of pre-Jessica Rabbit Kathleen Turner.

Jewel of Denial

Speaking of which, has anyone ever questioned what Jessica Rabbit's maiden name was? I mean, it couldn't have been Rabbit. That would be weird. Come to think of it, try explaining Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, and Daisy Duck. You know they're not married, so explain those last names. Fucking gross, Disney. Fucking gross.

Since I mentioned Caribbean Queen, here's a strange little tidbit of information. The song has different titles in different countries. African Queen, European Queen, Czechoslovakian Queen, The Republic of Ireland Queen, United Soviet Socialist Republic Queen. As I'm sure you can imagine, the song's rhythm had to be slightly modified in certain areas.

So, now here we are. 2008. And my man Billy Ocean is happily living in England with his wife and kids and still touring!!! Can you believe it? He's still pumping out his soul-infused pop, though it looks more like he's running with Eddy Grant's reggae band these days.

Shabba!

So, here's to you Billy Ocean! The man who told women everywhere to "get in the backseat, baby!" A line which never, ever worked for me.

Bettie Page 1923-2008

2008-12-12T07:06:00.000-08:00

Still the only female in history who I think looks good with those bangs.

Doctor Side of the Room

2008-12-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

I keep thinking about how shitty this past Saturday night was for me. Everyone who was supposed to call me to hang didn't and I ended up watching Doctor fucking Who all night long. On a Saturday!!! The roommie came home and we ended up watching a pristine bootleg of The Quantum of Solace, which I fell asleep to around midnight because it was confusing and boring. Damnit, I've got to get social again. This is getting rough.

Though, it really isn't so bad when you've got Kylie Minogue rubbing up on the good Doctor and some Daleks.

2 Reasons to Stay Inside

2008-12-05T12:52:00.001-08:00

So, I’ve been rocking out all morning to The Soviettes, who I haven’t listed to in a while. And this is good, because ever since Cheryl threw on De La Soul Is Dead last week, that’s all I’ve been listening to. Anyway, I just got the thought in my head that it’s been a while since LP 3 came out and wondered when they’ll be puting out something new. I checked Wikipedia and wouldn’t you know it, they broke up. God damnit. I missed them play at Will’s Pub a few years back thinking it’s not a big deal because I’m sure they’ll come around again. This is the umpteenth time I’ve done that. When will I ever learn?

Never mind the bullocks, let’s talk video games!!!

I’m going to rewrite the Silver Jews “Room Games and Diamond Rain” to “Video Games and Diamond Rain.” It just seems more perfect to me. Of course, there’s Sunny Day’s “Guitar and Video Games.” Spot on, Enigk, spot on. Anyway, I’m getting way off topic here. I’ve been immersed (not submerged, Mary) with some pretty great games as of late. So much so that I’m becoming the hermit I’ve always feared of being, which is good, I suppose, because it keeps me home and out of trouble. Though, it also keeps me from going out and meeting that “special someone.” Fuck it. I know a few people who’ve met others online and it’s worked out for them so far, no matter how pitiful and lame I think it. I don’t care how technologically far along we are. There’s nothing like meeting a chick at a bar as opposed to during the act of fighting a dark elf in WoW. It’s a lot more organic and way the fuck less lame.

Well, Xbox Live has finally kicked off their new Xbox Live Experience. I gotta admit, it’s pretty neato. You can make your own avatar, which is a massive Nintendo Wii rip-off. The only difference is you can’t really do anything with the little guy you made. He/she just stands there, wishing they could bowl or box. Still, my guy looks just like me. It’s spooky and I love it. The whole layout is completely different and a lot more user friendly than the way it once was a mere month ago, though it does take a little getting used to. There’s some added stuff to the whole deal, but I have yet to explore it all that much aside from the increased ease of downloading game content and checking on your various achievements. I do know that if you have a Netflix account, you can stream movies right there through your system. No more waiting for the mail. Plus, fairly soon you’ll be able to simultaneously watch the movies with your Xbox friends. Not in the same room, mind you, but over the net. Pretty cool concept, but I doubt I’ll ever use it. Refer to the above meeting-girls-in-bars rant to better comprehend my stance on online socialization. I’m a dork, not socially inept. Yet.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats a good, ole fashioned TV Party.

Right before I moved out of the old place, I received a new Gamefly game in the mail called Overlord. I got my hands on the demo a while back and was pretty intrigued by it. It’s not your average game. In it, you play as the Overlord, who looks a lot like Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Hey, if you’ve seen one evil, omnipotent overlord, you’ve seen ‘em all. You’re resurrected at the start of the game and it’s up to you to re-establish your kingdom. At your disposal are minions, little Gremlin looking fuckers who you control. In fact, you don’t really have to lift much of a finger through the whole game. You just send your minions to do your bidding, which includes fucking up crops, killing peasants and animals, looting and destroying homes, and other bits of nastiness. Of course, you don’t have to do all of this (there’s an achievement if you don’t), but where the hell is the fun in that?? When was the last time you saw someone in GTA help an old lady across the street? To hell with that! Punch her in the face and take her money! It’s hilarious! The normal story consists of you “helping” people out by going after corrupt Heroes and giving them dirt naps. You run into all sorts of fantasy creatures, like “Halflings,” man-eating unicorns, faggy ghost elves, wizards, zombies, and other things I’ve yet to confront. Along the way you can gain access to more minions with different specialties, amassing a large army in the process. You can also forge and enhance new weapons and spruce up your Dark Tower, which is much more satisfying than forging since you really don’t need to use your weapons and armor all that much because you have your minions doing everything for you. However, it’s a necessary evil if you want those achievement points. I’m having a hell of a blast with this game, so far. The controls are kind of konky, but easily overlooked. I’m looking forward to the prequel coming out. Apparently, it takes place during Ancient Roman times, so you get to mess with mythological creatures. Fun times.

The absolute best part of the game? Getting your minions wasted and then watching them whip out their deebie-dobbies to piss everywhere. No lie.

The worst part? Whereas you get points for killing 10 women (the achievement is called "Wenchbane," haha!), you can't get really evil with them and do dirty things. The Overlord is just moderately evil. And yes, I am one of those sick fucks who enjoy having sex with hookers in GTA and then killing them to get my money back. I'd do their corpses if the game would let me.

Go, my minions! Go forth and be somewhat evil!!!!

Next up is kind of a given. Gears of War 2. The new roommie got it the other day. I mean, what can I really say? It’s Gears of War 2. It’s better than Gears of War 1. The graphics are better, the game play is about the same, it has an actual coherent storyline this time around, and it’s non-stop, fucking insane action right out of the gate, as it should be. It’s absolutely amazing. This time around, there’s just one town left on the planet that’s safe from the Hoarde and it’s up to you as Fenix, Santiago, that cocky blonde bastard, and the token black dude Cole Train (yeah, I thought that was pretty funny the first time, too) to take the fight to those underground pieces of shit by going directly to where they live and finally fucking them up for good, all the while looking for Santiago’s long lost family. It’s everything the first one was times, well, times 2, I guess. I’m looking forward to getting to the end. Apparently, Gears of War is supposed to be a trilogy and I’m wondering if it’s going to end in an Empire Strikes Back/Attack of the Clones kind of way. You know, darkest before the dawn shit. And just like the last game, the 2 player co-op split screen gives me headaches. I’m starting to remember why I played the first one high as a kite and blasted Asthma Attak when I did co-op at Harvard Manor with Chris “How Many Birthday Shows Can I Squeeze Out of the Social” Rae. I love that guy.

Yep. That's the actual game. I get a semi just looking at it.

Still, there’s nothing at all more satisfying than ripping a Grub in half with the chainsaw attached to your gun or slapping a grenade on pretty much anything and watching it helplessly explode. Actually, penis and vagina is way more satisfying, but good luck getting some of that while you’re busy playing video games. (And if you are doing just that, I hate you. I fucking hate you and your online dating, you lucky son of a bitch.)

All of this video game goodness comes to you from my new beautiful, gynormous HDTV. Actually, it’s the roommie's, but it’s in the house in which I live and that, dear readers, is good enough for moi.

You know what's kind of awesome? Remembering that, after writing a long ass blog, you had replaced that Soviettes CD with something else and you've forgotten what it was. You hit play and on comes the Thermals' first album. Fuck yeah. That's like finding a fiver in your pocket and a pair of awesome tits in your face. Of course, if that happens all at once, chances are you're in a strip club and about to lose that money. The Thermals, however, ain't going nowhere.

I leave you this post with Geek poseurs:

These 2 are not geeks. Nor are they gamers. Nor did they meet online. I mean, just look at them! They're muy caliente, as the server who waited on me at Habenero's last night would say. Nerd girls don't look like that! Ever!!! They're fat and they have bad skin and don't know how to properly apply make-up and dress poorly. Those are the girls that always fall for me. Not the girl in the picture. However, I now have a pretty good idea why I love argyle so much. I wasn't aware it was a stereoype.

IOU One Entry

2008-12-05T06:32:00.000-08:00

What's up, nerds? I miss you all. I just finished moving this weekend and now it's all about unpacking, organizing, and accessorizing. That is if me and the new roommie can get our asses off of the new Xbox 360 Live revamp and get some god damned work done. Why do video games have to be so much like heroin? Why???

I'm going to try to update some time today. Just as soon as I get my work finished, the work Nazis stop looking over my shoulder, and I can stop reading this great blog I found through my pal Defame Orlando called Boner Party. I'm totally adding them. So far I've come across the following quotes:

-"Keep it natural, world. Natural tits and natural boners."

-"thats what doug and i call “IKEA pussy”, because that shit is confusing as hell and english is like the third language on the list."

-"TOTAL BABE: alright cool i’ll put on every Air album and we’ll drink a bunch of cough syrup and we can spoon and watch Quantum Leap on mute.

ME: alright cool."

Brilliance.

In the meantime, sauté on this for a bit: in case you didn't already know, they're in the process of remaking Porky's and Revenge of the Nerds. "But, Shawn, don't you mean to say sequels?" Nope. Remakes, motherfuckers. Horrible, unnecessary remakes.

Sorry you don't get any pics with this, but IOU's don't get ocular stimulation. Deal.

Oh WPRK! Up Yours!

2008-11-26T05:38:00.000-08:00

Here's an early morning rant that just needed to be put from fingers to screen. Damn you, WPRK. Damn you, damn you, damn you. I am so utterly sick of your crappy DJ's.

Let's talk radio.

This morning a really good song came on by a band I did not know the name of. My guess was new Squarepusher, except it was a bit too bouncy for him. When the song ended, Hot Chip popped up, which I was glad about because knowing an artist before or after a song you don't know helps you pinpoint who it was when the DJ reads off the list of who they played in that block. Obviously. Ratatat was beforehand, so it was going to be easy. So, as I'm getting closer to work, the reception for WPRK started getting bad, as it usually does on beautiful, clear days, oddly enough. When Hot Chip ended, the DJ came on. "Good," I thought, "Now I'll get to know who that was before the reception goes all to hell." No chance. Here's what I got:

"Hey.........this is Juan [I think that's what he said] filling in for Anonymous.....mumble, mumble, mumble........ummmmm......yeeeaaaahhhhhhh.......ummmmmmm.........more mumbling......hear this song in the background? It's from Crono Trigger. I love that game..[Goes on to talk about the game and buying it]..okay so you just heard..." and that's when the static fully kicked in. God fucking damnit!!!!!!

"Shut up shut up shut up!!! Can you play The Fucking Champs?"

WPRK DJ's, if any of you are reading this, please take these points into consideration:

- Stop talking. Just fucking stop it. If I want to listen to talk radio, I'd turn on Real Radio or an AM frequency. When you play songs, don't take a million years to tell me who you played. Just tell me, for crissakes!!!!!! I don't care about your day. I don't care about your idiotic inside jokes. I don't want to hear you have conversations no one gives a shit about with other people in the studio.

- If you really must talk, ANNUNCIATE!!!!!!!! Stop with the mumbling. You are on the radio!!! If you're so bored with what you do, step aside and let someone like me who knows what they're doing take over.

- On the opposite end of the spectrum, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!! You're on Ritalin, we get it. You're a happy-go-lucky pixie of a person, we get it. You go home when your PRK shift is over and cry yourself to sleep because you have no friends due to the fact you're so completely over-the-top annoying, we get it. I don't know of anyone who wants to listen to the squirell chatter of someone who sounds as though they are about to eat the microphone and then explode in a hail of confetti and caffeine pills like some fucked up DJ pinata. Chill!!!!! You're on the radio, so you're already the center of attention. Stop overdoing it.

The next WPRK DJ

- If one of your most favorite songs is some whacked out, obscure Animal Collective song, chances are you shouldn't be playing music for a large audience.

Oi vey. This is one of those rare occasions where I can give a resounding "YES" if someone asks if I think I can do a better job. But this isn't just me. Most people I know complain about all this, too. This is the one radio station worth a damn when you want to listen to good music on the weekdays and it's usually filled with nonsensical banter or god forsaken Rollins basketball games no one gives 2 flying fucks about. Well, there's a happy ending to this story. Thank good ness for the WPRK website, because I was just able to look up what was played and it was 8 Bit Beats. I'm going to have to look them up because that was some fun shit. The DJ's whole block was pretty decent, but I'll bet I could have fit twice as many songs in. Why? Because me no talky-talky. I save the commentary for you beautiful people who I actually know are interested in my nonsense. I could keep going on about other things that bug me about 91.5, but let's just leave it at this for now. Of course, all will be forgiven if they play my songs if and when I finally get them finished and recorded.

Hang the DJ.

Don't look so sad, Plotkin. You're one of the good ones!!

As a post note, in defense of 91.5, when they do play songs, they're usually pretty amazing. Just look at the set lists from last night to the wee hours of this morning. Pretty fantastic stuff.

The Evil Dead Confederate

2008-11-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

My god is it boring at work today. I know I sound like a broken record every time I say that, but yeesh. This is getting ridiculous. I saw a job posting in craigslist yesterday for an "administrative assistant" position that starts out more than I'd make as a first year teacher. All they really ask is for someone proficient in Office programs, which I am, someone with a bachelor's degree, which I've got, and someone who is willing to put in overtime, which I've been doing for the past year and a half straight. It's definitely something to look into, I s'pose. Especially since dick sucking wasn't listed. We all know what's really expected of some of these admin assists.

Speaking of the job, I find it rather humorous that simply because I wear glasses and I've a penis, the people around me automatically assume I know a lot about computers. Fact is, I know 2 things about computers: Jack and shit. And Jack just left town. I have them all fooled, though. Either I do the tried and true "turn it off and turn it back on" trick (thank you The IT Crowd), or I fiddle around, open a bunch of various windows, type in a bunch of nonsense commands, and state that the problem is beyond me and it's something for the IT guys to screw with. Why go through all the trouble? Well, it's a great way to waste time and pave over a little of the day's doldrum. Also, I can't stand not knowing how to do something. I'm one of those people who always feels the need to know how to fix everything. Not in a know-it-all-I-wish-you-harm-you-annoying-piece-of-shit way, but more like a here-I-come-to-save-the-day way. I suck, I know.

Less like this

Way more like this

Let's talk music.

I've been finding myself less and less inclined to write about music. Quite frankly, Mr. Shankley, I'm sick of it. I usually go through these periods where I just hate music and stop listening to anything new. A few years will go by and I'll start discovering all of these great bands I've missed during my boycott, thus re-establishing my faith in music until I start getting sick of it again. It's a twisted, love/hate/love cycle. However, I just recently got a hold of the new Dead Confederate album, "Wrecking Ball" (not to be confused with the Emmylou Harris album). Not too bad. I actually like it a lot. It's damn fine for a first LP and it harkens back to the 90's rock heyday. In fact, there are quite a few times the singer sounds like Cobain backed by a touch of Afghan Whigs. In a good way. The whole thing has kind of a sexy swager to it. It's definitely the kind of record one can make sweet lovin' to. None of this is really all that surprising seeing as they're an Athens band and Athens is the only town in Georgia I can stomach. We really need good, old-fashioned heavy guitar rock to come back. It's nearly 2010, so there's the 20 year mark for the next retro decade to come back, in this case the 90's. Let's hope those wonderful indie rock bands come back with it. Songs I look forward to hearing every time I put the CD on are "The Rat," "Goner," and "All the Angels."

Upon searching for the track listing for the album (because I've got a wicked terrible memory), I found this little gem on Amazon:

It's called "Curse of the Cannibal Confederates" AKA/ "Curse of the Screaming Dead." It was made in 1982 and I must own it. You can pretty much bet your cute little hienies I'll be writing about it. Upon further research, I discovered that the director, Tony Malanowski, is also responsible for movies called "Nightmare Sisters" and "Dr. Alien." Oh, hells yes. I hope they're terrible.

I promise I'll write about Star Wars soon. I feel obligated because I brought it up a couple of posts back, but mainly because I really want to. Videos games, Clone Wars, old pictures I came across while packing of me as a 5-year old Vader from way back in Halloween 1980. Man, I could go on and on and believe me, I will.

[Later Edit] This just in!!!! I just saw in my new issue of Game Informer (the one with boring ass Halo on the cover. That's right, I said boring) that there is some kind of special 20th anniversary Mystery Science Theatre 3000 just released. I have no clue what it is, but I'm actually vibrating with excitement and anticipation!!!!!

Ceci N'Est Pas Une Thanksgiving Potluck

2008-11-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of annoyed my image of Auryn won't stay in my last post as one of my next tattoos.

Every now and again I'll be writing about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the target subjects this blog was created for. Simply because I'm bored or I've experienced something in my little private life that I don't mind sharing with you. My reason for writing is due to a mixture of the two.

I love potlucks at work. Seriously. I just ate like a god damned king. I know I'm trying to lose the weight (read: belly) I've gained the past few months since hurting myself/getting sick and not being able to work out, but at times like these, I could give 2 shits. Bring on the obesity! We just had our Thanksgiving potluck at work and I gotta tell ya, these co-workers of mine are the kind of people you want to bring over for dinner, so long as thay bring a dish 'cause this ain't no soup kitchen.

Me without a bike and a gym membership

I just had home cooked honey glazed spiral ham, a chicken/cheese/broccoli/rice dish, green beans (the kind topped with crunchy onions), mashed potatoes and turkey gravy (that's what I brought), corn, fried chicken, potato salad, rolls, shrimp cracker spread, barbq meatballs, pumpkin pie, some kind of 3 cheese yellow cake, and sparkling grape juice. I swear to God and all that's holy, I haven't felt this satisfied from just food in a long time. It was fun company, too. Some of us hung out in the meeting room where we had the spread set up along with my boss, who has this insane ability to make things awkward as hell. It's great.

Someone had asked her to bless the food, which I really don't have a problem with. As long as no one tries shoving their religion down my throat, they can bless whatever the hell they want. I respect it. My boss declined stating that there are many different religions and cultures in the workplace and it's not a very smart thing to do, to which I applauded her. She added that there might even be some atheists in the room. I didn't think anything of it. I'm not really an atheist (though I've a feeling some of the people in the office think I am), but I didn't find anything remotely offensive in her bringing it up. About 10 minutes later, she closed the door and explained her reasoning for using atheism as an example and she didn't mean to make it sound bad and everyone is free to practice whatever they wished and yadda yadda yadda. It was hilarious!!! I felt like I was in an episode of "The Office." Explanations made out of paranoia make me super uncomfortable. I love it.

Before that she gave a little speech about how this kind of thing brings everyone in the office closer together and it's a great idea. I think she was just feeling guilty for not having made anything. Whatever. I was just there for the food. While we ate, she told me she wanted to ask me something and she hoped that I didn't mind her prying into my personal life. "Oh here we go," I thought, getting ready for something super-awkward. She then went on to ask if I ever cook at home or, since I'm a single guy living on my own, do I rely on fast food and such. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed with her choice of questioning. I was ready to answer, "Oh, um, doggy style, I guess," or, "He's been dead for about 3 years now and it still hurts," in a shaky, uncomfortable voice when all I got to say was that I cook every now and then, giving a detailed layout of my kitchen. Boooooooooring. I can show them a thing or 3 about personal questions!!!

One of my co-workers just sent me an email entitled "Women Think It's So Easy" with a video attachment of a bunch of older women having some kind of race at a backyard party where they have to run up to their partner with a plunger sticking from between their legs. Once reaching their teammate, they had to insert the plunger handle into a roll of toilet paper their partner had between their legs without using anyhands. To say it was disturbing would be an understatement. I think what might be the most disturbing is that I found it oddly appealing because I haven't gotten any in a really, really, really, really, really long time. I know that's a bit on the TMI side, but I felt it was pertinent and a little funny. Hey, who else is going to joke about my unintentional celibacy? Oh yeah. Everyone.

I'm not going to even get into how insanely funny it was when a Puerto Rican co-worker of mine obviously took huge offense to being mistaken for Mexican by another co-worker. I thought I was going to shit myself.

Got it?!?!?

So, yeah, it's been a really weird and fun day at the office today. I had some really awesome food and everyone is kind of in a good/silly mood. Even the collections people are in high spirits, joking, laughing, and putting up Christmas decorations. 'Tis the season, I guess.

The sad part to all of this is that I'm the only one of my kind here. That's the reason a lot of you get frequent, random texts and emails from me during the course of the day.

Oh! Happy birthday to a favorite abstract artist of mine, Rene Magritte. If he hadn't have died in the 60's of cancer he would have died in the 70's or 80's of old age. Today he could've been 110.

Jesus. This might be the most random, stream-of-consciousness type blog I've ever written. Just 90 more minutes.....

At the risk of sullying this amazing work, I just can't help mysef: It's Rainin' Men! Hallelujuah!

Alls I Wants For Christmas

2008-11-19T09:20:00.000-08:00

Normally I post up my annual Christmas Wish List in hopes that one of my more wealthy friends take pity on my perpetually broke ass and buy me something nice, despite the fact I can rarely return the favor. Also, it gives me a good outline for the final report I'll be turning in to Mom and Dad. So, in honor of keeping tradition (because that's all Christmas really is anymore), here is Shawn's Christmas List '08 (Subject to Change):

1) DVD's
A) Special 2-Disc Edition Iron Man
B) Special 3-Disc Edition Incredible Hulk
C) Control
D) American Hardcore
E) Any MST3K
F) All Robot Chicken Seasons except the 1st one (already got it, natch)
G)Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job! Season 1
2) A bigger book shelf
3) The TPB's (or hardcover, which is even better) for the Dark Tower comics
4) A couple of CD/DVD racks
5) A new iPod to replace the one that just went tits up on me (80 gig would be substantial, but I'm willing to take anything)
6) The entire Rock Band set for the Xbox 360 (I'm about to rock, so I salute myself)
7) Soccer cleats, shin guards, and soccer socks
8) A street bike (this is pretty much a must-have for me. This really ought to be at the #1 spot)
9) New glasses (since I haven't been to the optometrist in about 7 years and I still can't afford to go after all this time)
10) New tattoos that look like these:

That's about it. Some of that stuff I don't really need all that much but I just thought I'd throw it in there to round out the list a bit and bring it to an even 10. Things look better in 10's. Of course, I'll probably add to that list, thus destroying my nice, neat 10 list. Oh crap!!! That reminds me!!! I just saw online that there's a new Top 10 series out!! I have to find the first issue. I'm praying Alan Moore is writing it again.

You've Been a Bad, Bad Franchise. You Need to be Punished!

2008-11-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

Well, it is a balmy 59 degrees outside, crystal blue skies, and the birds are singing. What better time to be stuck at work, sitting in a windowless office? Bah, screw it. I don’t even know what “balmy” means. I have nothing to do for the next 6 hours, so…

Let’s talk movies.

I was going to write about my recent Star Wars obsession, but I saw something the other day that completely curtailed any desire to pen (or, in this case, key) about my childhood desires of being Han Solo and nabbing Princess Leia in her slave outfit. What came across my friends’ television pretty much had me drop to my knees and thank whatever god is above who looks kindly upon good old fashioned comic book shoot-‘em-ups and the industry people who pray to them. In case you haven’t yet guessed, I’m referring to Punisher: War Zone.

It's a big image, but my god it's glorious. Definitely modeled after Tim Bradstreet's work.

First, let me point out that I know I’m probably setting myself up for a let down of biblical proportions. In fact, if there ever was a Book of Shawn written, it would probably consist of one page with the words “Damn it all to hell!” written upon it from having been disappointed so many friggin’ times from various things in my life, most of which having come in the form of film adaptations. “Why hast thou forsaken me?” may even make an appearance. So, yes, I’m very well aware I’m jumping the gun, especially considering Punisher in movie format really has yet to get to that point where it can jump the shark. This might be its chance.

This is what I saw: the Marvel Knights logo (would have pleased me to no end if it was Marvel Max, but I’m content to have my cake without eating it, as pointless as that is), a lot of darkness, a lot of gunfire, a tombstone with the name “Castle” on it, some guy wearing a skull shirt who looks like he could kick the living shit out of both Dolph Lundgren and Thomas Jane just by staring at them, a stitched up guy who just has to be Jigsaw, more darkness, and more gunfire. Yeah, I’m going out on a limb here and I’m guessing this one doesn’t take place in Tampa. I’m also going out on an even further limb and guessing that this Punisher is going to be immeasurably better than its predecessors. It’s called War Zone for fuck sake! How could you screw that up?!?!?

Anyone? Anyone?

Which brings me to the last movie starring Thomas Jane as our anti-hero and John Travolta as our mob boss baddie. Just the thought alone makes me laugh out loud a little. I mean, it’s bad enough you have John Travolta as the bad guy (Go get ‘im, sweat hogs! Up his nose wit a rubbah hose!), but the whole thing takes place in Tampa. Fucking Tampa!! I pretty much grew up in Tampa and believe me, the only criminal element you really need to worry about are the idiot ravers and psycho Bucs fans. But Tampa mobs?? Hahahahaha!!!! Oh, man. Setting aside, the rest of that movie was a wash up. They loosely- very, very, loosely- followed Garth Ennis’s first run of Punisher when it was under the Marvel Max banner, which is basically Marvel’s version of DC’s Vertigo, where it ignored the comic code and let the books go hog wild with nudity, foul language, and blood. Good for the Punisher, perfect for Garth Ennis writing the Punisher. I’ll never forget the storyline with Wolverine and the gang of wiseguy midgets. I shit you not.

The movie had some of Ennis’s characters, such as the Russian (extremely watered down), Joan, and Spacker Dave, but none of his attitude or sick humor. Thomas Jane, as much as I enjoy his films, just was not a believable Frank Castle. That whole scene where he made the guy talk by telling him he was taking a blow torch to him when he was really sticking a Popsicle against his skin was lame, lame, LAME!!! (I'm fully aware he actually did this in Punisher War Zone Vol. 1 #1 because I own it, but that was following the comics code and movies have no excuse!!) The Punisher I know and love would have actually had no qualms at all with taking a real blowtorch to the hood! That is, after pulling out his teeth, cutting off his fingers, and shooting him in the gut. Christ on a comic (I’m ripping off Mary Tyler Whore, here), John Travolta did more Punishing than the Punisher!!!!! You know, I’m just going to stop now. I’m getting myself upset. I’m just glad I saw the film in the dollar theater on a 75 cent Tuesday and we had all snuck in a bunch of beer. The only punishing the Punisher did that night was to the audience.

I know, kids. I know.

If I was an actual writer, who did his homework before writing, I would have watched the first Punisher movie starring Dolph Lundgren before even so much as mentioning it. Mainly so I can write something, anything, about it. I saw the flick when I was a kid, so I don’t really remember any of it. All I do remember was Castle heating up a knife while hiding out in the sewers and pressing the red hot blade to a bullet hole in his side, letting out a scream. At the time, I thought that was pretty badass. Now, not so much. If he wanted pain, he should have waited a few years for the next Punisher film. Still, if I had to guess, I’d say that movie was like the barely-mentionable Captain America, but with guns. Methinks I need to hit up Netflix for a refresher.

So, let’s just compare the Punisher of a few years ago with War Zone:

-Thomas Jane vs. the guy who played Titus in Rome who looks like he’s been through hell and back. Winner: Titus
-Jigsaw (who's played by the guy with my last name on The Wire) vs. John Travolta. Winner: Jigsaw
-The dark and gritty New York City underworld vs. sunny Tampa, FL. Winner: NYC. It'll always be NYC.
-Actual punishing vs. running around with your retarded neighbors and sticking ice pops on guys. Winner: come on, who doesn’t like ice pops?
-Punisher's sidekick Microchip vs. no one at all. Winner: undecided

Better than Travolta

Seeing as how I’ve just effectively kicked a 90-minute film’s ass with a 20-second spot I saw on television, I’m willing to bet War Zone is going to be fantastic, let alone one of those rare sequels that outshines the film it follows. The best part of this whole thing is that Marvel is kicking off a Punisher War Zone weekly series, reuniting Frank Castle with Preacher team Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon (I said Glen Fabry in the past as artist because I’m an idiot). It looks like 2008 is the year everyone gets Punisher right. I’m not even going to get into the Foolkiller/Punisher crossover.

Speaking of creepy ass Spacker Dave, let’s take a look at other roles Ben Foster has played because I'm sick of talking about the Punisher.

Here’s Ben as a creepy vampire worshipper

Here’s Ben as a creepy X-Man

Here’s Ben as a creepy cowboy

Here’s Ben as a creepy suburban gangsta

And here’s a little Ben as a creepy mentally challenged kid

Oddly enough, I couldn’t find any pics of Ben playing a creepy Spacker Dave. Go figure. Seriously, though, I love me some Ben Foster. There’s some weird rumor going around he might be playing Carnage in the next unnecessary Spider-Man movie. It’s certainly fitting.

In more news that has absolutely nothing to do with the Punisher, I saw Wall-E last night. I really liked it a lot. It was very cute and very smart when it came to its social commentary regarding where we're all headed if we continue being lazy fucks.

Politics As Seen Through Dork Colored Lenses

2008-11-06T12:07:00.001-08:00

Let’s talk comics!

No, let’s talk politics!

Eh, that’s not right, either. Let’s talk comics and politics!!!

Leave it up to me to meld the two, but us Americans (not to mention the rest of the world) just experienced something so groundbreaking, they’ll be teaching kids about it in US schools until the end of time, so it’s kind of difficult not to be political in a blog that I’m writing 2 days after an amazing election.

Granted, Steven Colbert did not win. Not even in the Marvel Universe. This is not a good time for the GOP. Maybe he should have run in the DC Universe’s Bizzaro World. And fuck you Spell Checker for telling me “Bizzaro” isn’t a real word.

(**Note: I just went over this whole thing after proofing it and it's long. No, forget that, it's fucking huge. So, be warned if you don't give 2 shits about comic books or what I think about comic books, don't even bother reading this and wasting your time. Seriously, I didn't even bother with bold lettering my usual points of interest. And humor isn't going to save me this go around, because, well, this blog just isn't very funny. There's really not much room for cynical humor when it comes to the comics industry. Not for me. Unless you're a DC comic, in which case you're a joke unto yourself.)

There have been some really great comics that have been coming out lately that are direct reflections to today’s world events. As usual, I’m going to primarily focus on Marvel because as we all know I don’t do DC, with the exception of Vertigo and on some very rare occasions Wildstorm, so I have no idea what their idiot, bland comics are about. Probably yet another Infinite something-or-other. Makes me want to take an Infinite Dump. Anyway, Spider-Man!!!! God damn, I love Spider-Man. Always have, always will. Especially this month since there are 2, count ‘em 2, back-to-back issues that I can relevantly talk about. The first being The Amazing Spider-Man #573.

This issue not only ties up the very cool ‘New Ways to Die’ story-line (welcoming back the penciling genius of John Romita Jr), but it included an 8-page story featuring Steven Colbert in all of his truthiness glory. Needless to say, it was pretty damned funny. From Colbert’s despair at possibly not winning the election and doing the whole “Spider-Man No More” scenario (including the panel of him walking away from the garbage can he left his tie and jacket in, straight outta Amazing #50), to accidentally getting mixed up in a fight between Spidey and The Grizzly (of all things) and thinking he was in the midst of an assassination attempt, to swinging off with the web head, it was ridiculous, it was funny, and it was a great end to all of the “Colbert ‘08” signs that have been popping up in the comics for the past few months. There’s even a cool variant cover from Joe Quesada himself based on Amazing Fantasy #15’s iconic cover The regular cover is a badass rendition by Romita, Jr of Norman Osborn/Green Goblin ready to throw down. There's also a pretty sweet looking zombie variant, but, honestly, I am so fucking sick of all of the zombie bullshit. Enough already!

God damnit. I just spilled coffee down the front of myself. I hate these idiotic sippy lids they make us put on our cups at work.

Okay, a week or 2 later, we get Amazing Spider-Man #574 (it comes out 3 times a month now), starring Peter Parker’s old friend and former high school tormentor Eugene “Flash” Thompson. It was kind of cool to see him since it’s been a while and he’s had such a big impact on Peter, making Parker the person he is. (A note to all of you bullies: all you were doing is building our characters, so by the time it mattered, we were doing awesome and you were probably still a bunch of worthless assholes.) I always thought that Flash was kind of a neat character. Even though he beat on “Puny” Parker, he was the founder and president of the Spider-Man fan club. Oh, comic book irony, I love you. Because of this he found himself in some bad spots, like being mistaken for Spider-Man and donning the mantle of the Green Goblin for a stint. Jesus, who hasn’t been the Goblin at one point or another, in one form or another? Well, later on Flash stopped being a right schmuck and he and Peter became friends. He did a stint in the military and ended up teaching Phys Ed at the same high school Peter briefly taught Science at. He’s been kind of MIA for a while (no pun intended).

The whole story is a recollection Flash is giving from a hospital bed to a General interviewing him for the Medal of Honor. Flash goes into detail of how his squad is attacked while checking out an Iraqi village and how he saved the life of one of his teammates or whatever they call each other at great expense to himself. Turns out the expense was the loss of his legs. Pretty powerful stuff considering Flash Thompson has been an on again/off again major character. Throughout the story, the writer equates Flash's selfless actions to those of Spider-Man, tying it all together. A lot of people are going off saying that this was just pro-war propoganda and that it made Iraqi soldiers look inhuman and crazed and yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. I, personally, can't stand the military and I think we never should have gone to war to begin with. However, I still feel most of the people over there serving their country are some brave and selfless motherfuckers and this issue is a great tribute to them. I only hope that they get to come home to their families soon and in one piece because, unlike Flash Thompson, they won't be able to get cybernetic legs like he'll be able to (*ahem* Bucky Barnes, Misty Knight, etc).

Next up we've got Thor #11. I've been blown away by the new volume of Thor ever since it started back up a year ago. I've never been a huge Thor fan (with the exception of the disgustingly amazing job Garth Ennis did with the Thor: Vikings mini-series), but with J. Michael Straczynski writing and Olivier Coipel's penciling, it's hard not to become a fan. In this issue Thor gets to say good-bye to Steve Rogers (the 100% deceased Captain America). It is the one year anniversary of Cap's fatal shooting and every televison and radio network is broadcasting about it in their own propoganda-laden ways. Thor "talks" to Cap at his monument, saying his adieus, when the ghost of Steve Rogers appears (believe me, it's a lot cooler than it sounds). He tells Thor that all he wants is a moment's peace and he can't stand the constant chatter that is going on in his name and the way people are twisting his image around to suit their own agendas (perfect metaphor for what the media does to the concept of America). Thor ends up hightailing it up into the atmosphere and takes out a satelite, thus cutting off all media feeds for a few minutes, giving Cap his "moment of silence." Pretty powerful stuff. Of course, Loki (now a female because all women are tricksters) is planting rather poisonous seeds in the head of Thor's brother Baldur and all other Asgardians, which is starting to cause all sorts of problems, but whatever. Fuck them. We're talking about Cap, man.

And speaking of Captain America, last month finally concluded the nearly 2-year run of The Death of Captain America, with the Red Skull, Doctor Faustas, and that crazy robot bastard Arnim Zola being thwarted from fixing the presidential election and the Winter Soldier, also known as the now very much alive Bucky Barnes, becoming the new Captain America. Man, where was he when Florida needed him back in 2000? This story line was the mother of all conspiracies and had more twists than a twizler, but it was pretty damned entertaining. I've never been much for Captain America comics because they've always been pretty hokey, but this was completely hokey free, not to mention dark as hell. It almost played out like a badass James Bond book, minus the suits and martinis.

I present to you the new Capt. America!!!! Believe me, he's a total ass kicker.

Okay, I'm all comic booked out. It is now 4:00 on Monday, meaning it took me 5 days to write this one blog. For fuck sake. I really need to stop trying to write these at work. I think my next blog is going to be about the recent Star Wars kick I've been into these past few weeks. I can pretty much guarantee you that one will be way the hell more funny than this long ass post.

Obama-Wan, You're Our Only Hope

2008-11-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

All I can say is WOW!!!!!! I was hoping we'd pull it off, but a landslide????? A fucking landslide?!?!?!? I'd write more but I have to wake up for work in 5 hours and I'm staring down the barrel of a very long 10-hour day.

I will mention this: did anyone watch CNN??? What the fuck was with the holograms???? Shit was straight out of Star Wars!!!!!! I'd have to say that was the best part of the election, aside from Barack winning, of course.

The Proud, The Few

2008-11-02T06:20:00.000-08:00

Taken from the post left by the Descendents update guru on Myspace:

"Frank Navetta, founding member and guitarist for the Descendents, fell ill over the past few days and passed away on October 31, 2008. Besides naming the band, Frank wrote a ton of great songs and was a great friend. He will be truly missed.

We don't have any information about funeral or memorial services at the moment. We'll pass along information for any public services when we find out.

Go give Milo Goes To College or Bonus Fat a spin in Frank's honor.

-J"

Frank wrote some of the best songs in existence. It's truly a sad day.

DC Universe Online

2008-11-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

Booooonnnnnneeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

DC Comics still suck, though.

Talk about "boners." Jesus.

Preach On?

2008-10-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

Knee jerk reaction makes me want to jump for joy. However, Preacher in a 2 hour film? This might not be such a hot idea. Best of luch, Sam. Putting an issue an episode on HBO was a muuuuch better plan.

As always, CHUD says it best.

Damn, Sam

2008-10-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

So there I am the other day sitting on the toilet at work and thinking about random things as I so often do while pooping. (I know, awesome way to start a blog.) For some reason I got to thinking about the cast of “Diff’rent Strokes” and how it’s a damn shame that everyone knows what happened to everyone on that show, but no one really knows or cares what happened to Sam. Remember Sam? That little ginger kid? Dixie Carter and, later, Mary Ann Mobley’s son? (See, there they go switching actors again! Damnit!! They replaced Dixie Carter but they just flat out fired Dana Plato???? I call horse shit!) We all know Todd Bridges is in rehab and trying to kill people. We all know Dana Plato’s dead after robbing a video store. We all know Gary Coleman is still diminutive and jumping on cars. Hell, you should even know how Charlotte Rae’s doing if you’ve seen “Don’t Mess With the Zohan” or have seen her cabaret. (Yes, unfortunately I said cabaret). But what about little Danny Cooksey?

Wrong ginger.

That's the one!!!

Turns out he was on “Salute Your Shorts.” Well, when this show was being aired on Nickelodeon, I didn’t have cable because my family was poor and we lived in the middle of nowhere. Besides, from the couple of times I’ve seen that show at friends’ houses, the only character that sticks out in my mind is Dick Lips or Donkey Lips or whatever the hell his name was. I also remember “Hey, Dude” because I thought it was a retarded fucking show and couldn’t understand how “You Can’t Do That On Television” wasn’t around anymore but that was. Good lord, come to think of it, if you really couldn’t do those things on TV in the early 80’s, I’d hate to see what that show would be like now. I guess that’s why we have Youtube and FoxNews.

Apparently, you CAN do that on television.

Back to little Danny. So, okay, we have “Salute Your Shorts,” but what then? I’ll tell you what then. Rock ‘N Roll, bitches!!! That’s right, little Danny Cooksey is all grown up and playing metal!! He even found himself in a Steve Vai band called Bad4Good. Bad4Good!!! How awesome is that?!?! Plus, he was in Terminator 2. No shit. Looks like our little man has been pretty busy being rad. I can relate.

Fuck you, Hanson

These days he does voice acting for video games and animated shows. In case you didn’t know, animated shows used to be known as “cartoons.” He’s also married to a makeup artist named Amber. Let me reiterate: A makeup artist named Amber. Yep, I’m pretty sure she’s hot. What really blows my mind is that he’s the same age I am. Or will be, at any rate, on November 2, so be sure to wish him a happy birthday and turn your clocks back an hour. I guess I should stop calling him “little.” The guy could probably shove his guitar up my ass and play Don’t Fear the Reaper with my chest hair.

What I find really freaky is that he looks an awful lot like my buddy, Ben.

Ben? Danny?

Danny? Ben?

P.S. Last night's episode of Heroes suuuuucked. If you can't figure out a way to get from Point A to Point B without insulting my intelligence, don't even bother.

Speed Freak

2008-10-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

I just realized it’s been way over a week since I last posted. Despite my prior claims of not giving a flying poo, I really did have every intention of posting to this thing regularly. The best laid plans of mice and men. This is what happens when a really lazy person constantly finds himself doing 10 different things at once. This whole ADD thing will be the death of me, I just….

Sorry, I got distracted. What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. Let’s talk movies!!!

You know him. You love him. I almost was him this Halloween (I just couldn’t find a female brave enough or who gave a shit enough to be my counterpart. Shocking, no?)!!! Here he comes! It’s Speed Racer!!

That’s right, I wanted to be the Man with the Monogram G for Halloween but I couldn’t find one single lady who wanted to be Trixie. It’s fucking Trixie for crying out loud!!! It’s not like I was asking them to be Chim Chim or the Socket to my Plug or some other equally horrible couple’s costume. Hell, they even have Sexy Trixie outfits in case my lady wanted to whore it up a bit. (Have you seen the Sexy Super Hero costumes this year? Oh man oh man. If my girl dressed in one of those, I’d have to dress up as a tent. If you can’t figure out why, you need to watch more internet porn or do more camping.)

Pretty-Damn sexy

Are-You-Fucking-Kidding-Me Sexy

I’m digressing, I know. I’m surrounded by heart breakers and buzz kills.

When I had first watched the trailer for Speed Racer online, I was skeptical, at best. Okay, I’m fibbing a little. I thought it was going to be a huge pile of dung. It looked way too flashy, way too CGI’d, and I had just seen Alpha Dog so the last thing I wanted to see was Emile Hirsch as Speed running around, doing blow, and paying his friends to off Spritle and bury him in a shallow grave. Actually, come to think of it, hell yeah I’d want to see that!! Regardless, a live-action film remake of an ancient, quirky Anime directed by the Wachowski brothers doesn’t exactly sound like a winner. This is why I was a little baffled when my comrade-in-arms, Brian, told me he really enjoyed it. That alone got me very, very interested.

Unfortunately, I watched this as a download on my computer and not in the IMAX, which would have made my Willy wiley. For the record, Willy is the name of one of the chimp actors who played Chim Chim. I can’t believe I actually just typed “chimp actors.” This movie was truly outstanding! First off, I really didn’t know who was in it, aside from Emile Hirsch and, of course, Matthew Fox, because I’m a Lostie. (Yes, I feel as gay as that sounds.) You can just imagine my delight when Christina and her Riccis came bouncing into frame. And at one point she truly was bouncing a bit. I probably rewound and watched that same 1.5 seconds a good 10 times. Susan Sarandon was in the shot, too, but I did my best to not let that kill the mood. I just kept thinking back to how hot she was in Rocky Horror (though, for the record, I still can’t stand that movie or its hellish songs). I was also pretty damned happy to see John Goodman as Pops. They really couldn’t have cast that part any better. Of course, there was Chim Chim and Spritle. Seriously, you just want to kick the living hell out of that little shit Spritle through the whole movie, but Chim Chim was alright. I can’t stand overly-rambunctious little kids, but I do have a soft spot for primates, even crazy, violent ones like chimps. Especially crazy, violent ones. Ever see Monkey Shines? Oh hells yes.

Enough about the cast, let’s talk about the action! I used to watch Nascar back in the day with my friends. This proves that I’ll do anything to find an excuse to sit around and drink with my buddies. However, I might have forgotten about the beer altogether if Nascar resembled anything I saw on the screen during Speed Racer. When I said that it looked like it had too much CGI, I was obviously talking out of my ass and I had no inkling of how the world actually works. It was perfect! The colors were glaring, the action was fucking intense, and the gadgets these cars had were nothing less than badass. I mean, the only thing that would have made it all more exciting is if they added battle ponies (what I call unicorns) with rocket launchers to the races. All of that crazy hydraulic-lifting, buzz-saw-wheel, road-burning, explosive, flying-off-the-blacktop, over-the-top-character action you remember as a kid from the anime was in this movie. I was seriously impressed and I fully forgive the Wachowskis for ruining a good thing with Matrixes 2 and 3. (In all honesty, they already found retribution with V for Vendetta, but I still like to talk shit.) Plus, they gave us the best of both worlds: the insane, physically impossible race tracks and the deadly cross country marathons. They fit everything that needed to be fit into this movie and followed the feel of the original cartoon perfectly in just a mere 2 hours. Not to mention a good two-thirds of the film was spent racing fucking killer, sleek, future cars. I mean, these guys were installing parts into cars that don't even exist!!! They were all glowy and steamy!!! Good God I want one!

I’m sure there are other things I can say about this film, but it’s been something like a month since I watched it and a lot has been pushed to the side by newer things in my memory. All I can say is that I wanted to be Speed for Halloween. ‘Nuff said.

I could have been one of these assholes. *sigh*

Best Movie Moment: the races and Christina Riccis tits. I mean, you don’t really get any good boob shots, but by God, it’s enough just knowing that they’re there. Oh, and Matt Fox as Racer X has a pretty cool final scene. It wasn’t groundbreaking or anything, but it was a revelation that was executed pretty well. Here's some food for thought: I just realized that Racer X would have been a role probably awarded to Keanu Reeves if it weren't for the existance of Matt Fox's recent celebrity. Now imagine how much better Keanu Reeves' movies would have been if he were replaced by Fox (Bill and Ted excluded, naturally). Crazy, right?

Most Awkward Movie Moment: Spritle giving the one-finger salute to the bad guy (and jonesing for candy like a crack whore in a walk-in clinic) and Speed Racer using foul language. He said shit or fuck or something so out of character that it made even my gutter mouth drop a little. Alpha Racer.

What a twat.

Let’s talk music!

Lego Like Me

Anyone hear the new TV on the Radio album I had mentioned a few posts back? It’s called “Dear Science.” It should have been called “Dear Jesus, Joseph, and Motherfucking Mary” because it’s that damned good! They have seriously outdone themselves with this one. Honorable mentions go out to the new Chuck Ragan and Austin Lucas “Bristle Ridge” (if you have a chance to see them live, do it), The Sea and Cake’s “Car Alarm,” and Wolf Parade’s “At Mount Zoomer” (I know it’s been out for a while, but I have this terrible habit of being months if not years behind everyone else).
I’ve also been listening to Caribou and Loney, Dear a lot lately. It’s just one of those things where you don’t listen to a band for a while and then you rediscover their greatness somewhere down the road.

Since I am yet again writing this at work, I have to cut it a bit short (even though everyone around me is browsing the internets). Believe me, I have a lot more to talk about in the realms of comic books, specifically the current run of the X books and the Secret Invasion series, and video games. I just subscribed to Gamefly (best idea I’ve ever had, I think) and I got my mitts on the highly addictive and highly frustrating Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. The game has bugs galore, but hot damn is it fun.

See you later, masticators.

Religious zealots are killing the wrong doctors. Stupid breast reductions.

Red Shoe Files? The X-Shoe Diaries?

2008-10-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

I’m breaking some serious rules here. I’m currently at work and completely bored out of my gourd (just in time for the Fall!!). I was going to post a gourd image, but forget it. People go crazy over those things!!!! I got scared. Anyway, I’ve already finished my work for the day and I have 5 hours to go. What better time to get some blogging in! I just know I’m going to get canned.

Let’s talk TV.

Anyone catch this week’s Heroes? It was the perfect mixture of hokey, bad acting, and amazing plot surprises. I was happy. And William Katt made an appearance again, even if it were simply a photo in a newspaper article. Oh, Billy, you’ll always be my Greatest American Hero. It's criminal you got offed in the first episode.

I’m also proud to report that Pushing Daisies is back on the air with Season #2!!! Seriously, one of my most favorite shows of all time. If you haven’t watched it yet, don’t start now. Well, I guess you could, but I suggest you watch the first 9 episodes of Season 1. You won’t get lost like with…well, Lost if you don’t, but it would certainly help. Oh, and if you haven't yet seen Lee Pace in The Fall, you really need to re-prioritize.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job just wrapped up the Season 3 finale last week with Brownie Mountain. Is it just me or are the seasons getting progressively shorter and shorter? It ravages me on the kitchen table and is out the door before I can even get out an “I love you,” leaving me a sweaty and confused mess. Come home soon, Tim and Eric. Come home soon.

But enough about my love life. Let’s talk movies!

Okay, as promised, here is what I thought of the rest of the films I saw while I was fighting off the SARS virus.

I’m going to start with The Mummy: Something About a Dragon King or Something Like That. Poop sandwich. The first 2 movies were adventurous and fun. This was not. That’s all I can really say about it. Great idea. Sad execution. Having another actress play Rachel Weiss’s role ruined it for me. I can’t stand when they do that. Just do what they did in the Jaws series when Roy Scheider didn’t come back and say she died of a heart attack in between films. I mean, something like 20 years had gone by between 2 and 3, so it could have been done (and yet, everyone except their kid and, of course, Rachel Weiss, miraculously looked exactly the same. Must have been the Pearl Cream they picked up in Shangrila). There. Problem solved. And no one had to exhaust their suspension of disbelief, because God knows we needed it with this bullshit. I’d go into the plot, but what do you possibly need to know? Everyone is bored with their non-mummy fighting lives. Wouldn’t you know it, a mummy comes to life. He has magic. He’s Chinese. He turns into a dragon. Slapstick genius Brendan Frasier and family fight him, thus giving their lives purpose once more and bringing them all closer together. The end.

Rachel Weiss

Not Rachel Weiss

Best movie moment: Yetis. Anything that includes the cousins of the great Florida Skunkape can’t be all bad. Except this movie. It would need about a dozen more Snowmen, and handful of Snipes, and a whole army of Chupacabras to have saved itself.

Most awkward movie moment: everything else. I haven’t scratched my head this much over a Brendan Frasier film since Monkeybone.

Since we’re loosely on the subject of Where-Are-They-Now plot devices, let’s take a look at X-Files: I Want to Believe. It was the longest episode of the X-Files I have ever seen. That’s pretty much the extent of it. Mulder is in hiding from the FBI after having been canned and made to look nuts (you can tell he’s in hiding because of his unkempt beard), Scully is some kind of brain surgeon in a religiously run hospital (you can tell a lot of time has gone by because of her long hair), and they’re both bumping uglies. Oh, Amanda Peet’s in it, too, only not naked. Already a bad mark for this flick. Aside from mentioning his AWOL sister a couple of times, this movie has absolutely nothing at all to do with the usual X-Files fair of evil aliens and cloned superhumans. It was merely a filler episode. A really long filler episode. Now that’s not to say it wasn’t at all entertaining. X-Files has a special place in my heart and it was really nice to see Agents Mulder and Scully doing what they do best (never mind that I pretty much stopped watching when the T-2000 became a regular). Though, you’d think after all these years and all the shit she’s been witness to, Dana Scully would get her head out of her ass and stop being such a God damned Doubting Thomas. They really played up to her strengths as an actual doctor, which is something they rarely did in the television series aside from using it to accentuate her stance as “the logical one,” which always kind of bugged me. Mulder was just plain, old Mulder. Not much about this guy has changed with the exception of his beard and newly admitted sex lust. I’ve always wished they’d do an X-Files/Red Shoe Diaries crossover.

Best movie moment: the return of father figure and all around awesome bald guy Agent Skinner. It happens pretty late in the film, but when he finally shows up, you just know everything is going to be all right.

Most awkward movie moment: how this episode suddenly became a movie in its final 10 minutes. So there I am, enjoying the show and wondering if Chris Carter knows how much JJ Abrams has ripped him off with Fringe, when all of a sudden the orchestra comes in and Mulder and Scully are having “a Hollywood moment.” What the fuck?!?!? It was like being tossed into ice water after getting out of a sauna. I could have done without that forced bit of nonsense.

Of course, there was that bit of awkwardness with Billy Connolly being a convicted child molesting psychic ex-priest who bleeds from his eyes. I shit you not. I couldn't make something like that up. Not that I'd really want to.

The fuck is this nonsense?!?!? Give me some aliens, damnit!!!!!!!

Oh, and speaking of Fringe and rip-offs, Jerry Bruckheimer’s The Eleventh Hour is on tonight on CBS. Oh, so is the American version of Life On Mars on ABC. Normally, I’d predict it would be a huge piece of shit if it weren’t for Harvey Keitel being in it and the success of our version of The Office. Whatever. At least Reality TV is going the way of Paris Hilton’s vajayjay.

Okay, enough digressing. Now I want to talk about a fun movie. Not a great movie by any stretch, but fun nonetheless. It’s a little known film called The Mutant Chronicles and it stars Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman with an awful brogue accent, that one scary Asian chick from Sin City, and a couple of dudes from some Guy Ritchie films. Oh, and John Malkovich is in it as, what else, an ambiguously gay, apathetic city leader. Don't be confused like was at first. This has absolutely nothing to do with the collectible figure game nor the piece of shit computer game. Me being who I am, I was desperately hoping to see some mutants with laser beams coming out of their eyes and healing factors and shit. No such luck. What I got was a movie that was cross between I Am Legend, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Doomsday, and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. No lie.

Wrong mutants.

I have nothing really bad to say about this movie mainly because I kinda knew what to expect going in. When you jump into a pool with no water, you know you're going to walk away with a limp. A huge machine sent from another planet starts making killer mutants out of people (they’re basically really fast crazies with spikes for hands and super tough to kill). “The Ancients” or whatever seal this thing up underground and it stays there until a great war breaks the seal (as usual) and the machine picks back up where it left off. A ragtag group of Earth’s last hope, led by Hellboy and The Punisher, is assembled and journeys underground to blow the machine up. Hilarity and sword fights ensue. Did I mention Ron Perlman has a shitty brogue accent?

My only real gripe about this film is that it chronologically makes little sense. They state the amount of time that goes by during the course of the film but it never matches up with the events that take place. I don’t know, maybe time is different in the future.

Best movie moment: every sacrifice made from every character in the film. No joke. Damn near every single person in this movie sacrifices him or herself for the rest of the group, until there’s one man standing. Of course, that one man standing didn’t sacrifice shit and lived to tell the tale, so good for him. There’s also a part that had potential to be the best movie moment where Thomas Jane gets turned into half a mutant. Does he get super mutant powers? Faster? Stronger? Spike hand? Does he go head-to-head with the evil mutants as a super hybrid mutant man destroying all in his path? Nope. He gets a fucked up face, loses half his hair, and dicks around. That’s it. What a waste of perfectly good mutant mojo.

Most awkward movie moment: Every scene with John Malkovich.

Not in Mutant Chronicles, thank Christ.

Since I am at work and this mother is getting pretty lengthy, I’ll briefly talk about one more film that has absolutely no dorky qualities at all but I liked it so much I just have to blog about it: Little Manhattan. This movie not only makes you fall in love with Manhattan in a way no cornball Meg Ryan movie ever could, but it makes you fall in love with young, innocent love, too. Basically, the film follows the first pangs of love of 2 kids living in the greatest city in North America, from realizing you suddenly got the hots for someone you’ve never really “seen” that way before to the paranoia love brings turning you into a heartbroken, jealous psychopath. The only bad thing I can think of about this movie is the fact that a 10-year old boy went through the same bullshit I did in my late-20’s. That and if a kid hangs around outside a girl’s place it’s cute. If I do it, I’m looking down the barrel of stalking charges.

Best movie moment: the hand holding scene. I know, I know. I’m a fucking sap.

Most awkward movie scene: the wrestling-on-the-bedroom-floor scene. I know they’re only kids and still a few years from becoming total sex starved perverts, but that still didn’t stop me from feeling like I was an article of removed underoos away from watching a kiddie porn. Ultimate awkward. Maybe it’s just me. Still, it didn’t stop me from pining about that special, first kiss. You’ll have tons of kisses in your time, but a first only happens once. This is the part where I type *sigh* like a little, fucking girl.

Come on, that's adorable!!!

That’s about it from me for now. I should probably get back to my job. I promise I’ll write about the surprisingly boner-inducing Speed Racer in the next blog. I’ll probably do a bit about some comic books, too, since last week was insane with them. I’m due for this week’s new batch and I’m still working on last week’s. Not to mention Captain America finally finished the “The Death of Captain America” story arc that’s been going on for close to 2 years now, burying Steve Rogers and introducing the new Cap in one hell of a conspiracy plot. Hog frigging heaven, I’ll tell ya.

This post was brought to you by experimental overusage of bold font. (And I'm noticing way too many images of intimate moments. What the hell has gotten into me??)

Scavengers, Disappear!

2008-09-30T17:59:00.001-07:00

For your first assignment, if you're in Orlando, go to AKA Lounge. I don't care when, just go. Preferably when my pal Shelley's working. Up by her bar, hanging on the wall, is one of the most brilliant paintings I have ever seen. Seriously. I don't know how much it is, but whatever the cost, it's worth it. Think Boris Valejo meets Barbarella meets Isaac Asimov meets Frank Frazetta on some gooood acid meets one of the best fucking dreams I've ever had. I don't know what the painting is even called. I'm thinking "Naked Grey Woman With a Raygun Riding Atop A Lizard-like Centaur Buff Dude On Planet Kickass." I must own this painting. No matter where I hang it, my abode will be the most spectacular place on Earth. Even if I were homeless, my refrigerator box would still be more badass than your home.

While I wait for last night's Heroes to finish downloading, let's talk movies!!

I've seen lots of movies the past few days because I've laid up sick with what feels like the Bubonic Plague (and I got to miss Chuck Ragan, Tim Barry, and Ben Nichols perform at the Social, but I'll cry more about that when no one is looking). Pleasantly enough, a lot of what I saw was surprisingly good. Let's start with one for the kids.

Next Avengers!!!! So far, the animated movies Marvel has come outr with the past couple of years have been pretty damned entertaining. Ultimate Avengers, Ultimate Avengers 2, Iron Man, and Doctor Strange have all kept the basics of the comics and allowed themsleves to stray a bit from the path to keep the stories interesting and fresh, yet still stayed close to home so as not to completely ruin the true concepts of the characters (as the live-action films tend to do more times than not). This is why I was concerned when I first saw the add for Next Avengers.

Nowhere in Marvel comics history do these "Next Avengers" exist, which basically means that not only are they starting from scratch with unfamiliar characters, but they're messing with Marvel continuity. Usually not a big deal when it comes to the films, but I had a feeling this was just going to piss me right off, especially considering some great "young heroes" books they could have adapted such as the popular Young Avengers or Runaways. But, seeing as how it's a Marvel movie and I thought they were going to screw up Ultimate Avengers and didn't, I had to give it a shot.

First thing I noticed was Christopher Yost as the writer and Jay Oliva as the director, both of whom have done excellent work in the past. The story starts off with a history lesson as to who the Next Avengers are and how they came to be (basically, they're the offspring of the Avengers). From there, the movie goes into the whole "rights-of-passage" deal with the kids going up against Ultron and doing what their parents couldn't. Initially, I was unimpressed with what I was seeing. However, as the movie progressed I started to dig it more and more until finally I was my usual excited and giddy self when it comes to comic book tie-ins. One of the coolest things about the movie is that they allude to certain things that only true comic fans would get, like where Black Panther's son, Azari, gets his lightning powers. They never say, but I knoooooowwwwww!!!!! One of my favorite scenes is when young Hawkeye, leading his human team of rebels dubbed "Scavengers," shouts "Scavengers, Disappear" in his way of letting them know to fall back, paying homage to Captain America's call to arms. The movie had some great action sequences and some cool surprises. If you're looking for something fun and light and you need your geekbone tickled a bit, I'd definitely recommend this one. Just like when I finished watching the Doctor Strange animated film, I can't wait to see what Marvel Studios cooks up next.

I was going to write about more movies I watched this past week, but Heroes just finished downloading and I'm anxious as all hell to watch it. Rest assured, I'll be posting about The Mutant Chronicles, Little Manhattan (oddly enough for this blog), Speed Racer (gave me a boner), The Messengers, The X-Files: I Want to Believe, War Inc, and what a boring, trite piece of disappointing shit the new Mummy movie was.

Until then, *enter really cool closing line here*!

Did anyone notice my use of an image in this post? I'm getting better at this shit!

Greetings and Salutations!

2008-09-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

Let's just start this off by letting you know that I had the best Taco Bell in the world tonight. I'll tell you no lie, G.I. That value meal is the best thing since sliced bread. And with the price of bread going through the fucking roof...well, I really have nothing to add to that. I just felt the need to throw in a Mr. Show reference.

Having said that, welcome to my new blog! "Aw, Jesus Christ, really? Shawn's making an actual blog to bitch and moan on?" No, not really. That's what Myspace is for! (And that awful "other" blog I had. We won't talk about that pointlessness.) Though, not to say there won't be plenty of bitching and moaning on here. Just not about girls and humanity as a whole. This blog is dedicated to all the things I hold near and dear that the majority of my friends can't stand to hear me talk about. No more rolling of the eyes when I discuss what new killer moves I bought in "Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction." No more yawns when I try to explain how that bastard Brett Ratner destroyed the X-Men franchise in one fell smack of his clapper. No more people hanging up on me when I go in depth on how the Midwestern indie rock scene shaped early emo, which in turn added to today's post-post-punk and folk rock (oh, and you'll definitely see the names Braid, Cap'n Jazz, Mineral, and Boys Life pop up more than once). No longer will I feel like Gordon Freeman, hiding in the shadows and traveling the underground railroad in an attempt to escape the oppressive forces of the Combine, always being herded by the mysterious G-Man. I now have a venue where I can openly and freely discuss those things that curl my toes and get me all excited about coming home without feeling like a retard around all the normal folk.

Books! Movies! Comics! Music! TV! Pop culture! Science! Dinosaurs! Especially dinosaurs! Everything and anything that I love. Those things that make me a Geek. A Dork. A Nerd. The things that keep me and a select few huddled in our own spaces at parties, away from the crowd, discussing the ramifications Tomonobu Itagaki's resignation from Tecmo will have on the future of video gaming, the newest installment of Marvel's epic Secret Invasion, and how Kirsten Dunst is ruining the Spider-Man movies. Come on over. Join in on the fun.

Welcome to the Dork Side of the Room.

Be warned, though, if you say out loud that you're looking forward to the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, you're being sent to the kitchen. You can shamefully think it, just do no say it.

First off, I wanted to call this the Dork Side of the Moon, but some dickwad already took it. He posted once over a year ago about some nonsense that had nothing to do with anything and hasn't posted since. Honest to God, what a waste of a perfectly good name. Well, joke's on you, dickwad! I think my site's name is better anyway. Thanks to Mary Tyler Whore for confirming that. You should see this guy's Top 10 movies. Every Kevin Smith Jay and Silent Bob film (and I use the word "film" very loosely) is in it. God damn 16-year olds.

Okay, I've wanted to start this a while ago because there were a billion things I wanted to discuss. Some great stuff (surprisingly) coming out of Marvel lately, this summer's movie extravaganza (and wetting everyone's collective deebie-dobbies for The Avengers), the release of GTA 4. There was a lot of stuff. But I just caught something today that combines some great genres and managed to keep an increasingly stale story fresh. I'm talking about the season premier of Heroes.

Man, what a friggin relief!!! Seeing as how the last couple of season finales fell short of awesome (though, last season was understandable with the Great Writers' Strike of 2007) and the first half of the second season being depressing AND boring, I didn't have very high hopes for this season's opener. Sure, I was excited by the "Villains" sub-title, but that'll get ya just so far. After all, as Bill Cosby once said, "The proof is in the pudding." Halle-frickin-lujah that stupid (yet, extremely poignant) strike gave everyone the vacation they needed!!!! These first 2 episodes (shown back-to-back as an apology for the brief Season Numero Dos) had all of the mystery, danger, drama, and bad ass superpowers that made the first season and second half of last season so great. It gave us a bunch of answers (ohhhhhh, so that's what their powers are/were...) and a lot of questions (where on Earth are...fill in the blank?), just as it should be. Plus, it stuck to its own rules and started off at break-neck speed, which is fitting considering one of the new characters we meet. We also get a pretty great eye-opener at the end of episode two. It was something some of us expected, but more in an "it would be cool if/fan fiction" kinda way. It's difficult for me to get too much into it without being Mr. Spoiler-Pants (we actually used to call a kid that in grade school. He had bowel issues) and ruining the party for those of you haven't seen this season yet or have been wanting to get into the show and start from the beginning, so I'm going to keep my joy and optimism for this season brief. Just take my word for it. All I can say is, if Suresh at any point says, "With great power comes great responsibility," someone's going to pay. You just don't do that.

Okay, so there's my first post. Not bad. I know I still need to iron out a few wrinkles, like slow down on the huge paragraphs and try to add some pictures and whatnot, but over time I'll get the hang of this whole blog business. I'm kind of in a rush anyway because I want to get in some Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and it's getting close to my sleepy time. The next blog will be about God knows what, God knows when. It could be about the new TV on the Radio album tomorrow or it could be about the new Ghostbusters video game next month. It could be both! In the mean time, rock out with your dork out!

(Man, I have got to come up with a better closing line.)